Wemen are the most faithful creatures on earth,they don’t cheat,don’t lie
and they are trustworthy.
Remember i said “We Men and not Women

Bank is very pleased to announce that we are installing new Drive-thru ATMs where customers will be able withdraw cash without leaving their vehicle. (Other accounts can also utilize this facility) Male and Female procedures have been tailored to best reflect the behaviors of those particular groupings.

PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Open the car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and press “enter”
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive away

PROCEDURE FOR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Reverse back the required distance to align car with ATM
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, empty all contents onto the passenger seat and locate card
6. Turn radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into ATM
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to excessive distance between car and ATM
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Ignore the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
12. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate diary with PIN written on the inside back page under “Date of Birth”
13. Enter PIN
14. Press “cancel” and re-enter PIN
15. Enter amount of cash required and check make-up in rearview mirror
16. Drum fingertips on steering wheel for one minute, then look at ATM and press “enter”
17. Retrieve cash and receipt
18. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate purse and place cash inside
19. Place receipt in back of cheque book
20. Re-check make-up
21. Drive forward two metres
22. Reverse back to ATM ignoring the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
23. Retrieve card
24. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate card holder and place card in an empty slot
25. Drive two or three kilometres
26. Release hand brake

l went to police station to certify some copies, while I was there I saw a picture of Sylvester being posted on the notice board written “WANTED”
Me : officer, are you absolutely sure you want this man?
Cop: (in aghast) err of course. Yeah
Me : then why didn’t you arrest him when you took him that picture?
These cops are really stupid….

How I sneeze in front of my crush…
Heee Tsingle,Heee Tsiavailable, Tsingle Tsingle

‘m not ready for December,
let’s add another 3 months ahead please
.

Ladies Please Date A Man With Money , Coz Almost All Man Are Unfaithful ..
So it is Much Better To Be Heartbroken in Dubai Sipping Guarana
Than To Be Heartbroken Sleeping On A Floor in Tembisa Next To A Public Toilet

These Days You Don’t Know Whether
The Aunty Smiling At You Wants You For Her Daughter Or For Herself

Raise Your Hand if You Write “Etc” in Exams
Because You Don’t Remember Other Examples

Can we meet?
If they have not ask you this question in Facebook,
my sister your ugliness is beyond makeup

Dear girls,
we do want to give you happy relationships but as soon as you are in a happy relationship
you start to be become fat.
So no!

Being an ancestor can be so painful,
imagine being an ancestor,
then someone come to ask you to bless them with CARS…….
but while on Earth you didn’t own a wheelbarrow

When i go to a birthday party and the cake and drink doesnt reach me,
i will just remove generator wire.
did u think i came because you are growing older?

THREE CLASSES OF PEOPLE YOU CAN NEVER ADVICE.
1. Women in love.
2. Men with money
3. ARSENAL FANS

You will buy sachet water and finish it at once.
but when you buy table water,
u will be opening and closing it as if its doctor’s prescriptioN

Some girls need to wear socks with their heels cause
their toes be throwing gang signs…

I can’t wait to hate my daughter’s
boyfriend for nothing