HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him in peace
4. Don’t check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don’t bother him with his movements
6. Clean the house
7. Wash his cloth

So what’s so hard about that?

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:

It’s really not too difficult but… To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. not stress her out
48. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

49. give her lots of attention
50. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
51. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

52. Should learn not to ask for change when u give money for shopping. Whatever u give out becomes rightly hers no matter how big the note is.
………
TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS OO 😄😀😃😜🌹 Send this to everyone on your list. Make a happy home. Wishing you all a HAPPY FAMILY.

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He could not control his curiosity and asked,

“Do you always carry your TV remote with you?😕”

She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote.”

*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies…..*🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍

The story continues….😏

The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.

He said, “your husband has blocked your credit card……….”😲😲😲😲😲😲

*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.*😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Story continues….

Wife took out her husband’s credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn’t block his own card.

*Moral: Don’t underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..*

Story continues…

After swiping, the machine indicated, ‘ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE’…….

*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!*

Story continues….

She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.

It was her husband’s phone showing the forwarded SMS.

She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn’t call her during her shopping.

She bought her items and returned home happily.

*Moral: Don’t underestimate a desperate woman!*😷😷😷😷😷

Story continues….

On getting home, his car was gone.😈😈😈😈😈

A note was pasted on the door

“Couldn’t find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something”.😇😇😇😇

Damn!!… He left with the house key too.

😂😂😂😂

*Moral: Don’t try to control your husband.
You will always lose

A Preacher finished the service one morning by saying, ‘Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars.
As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark Chapter 17.’
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, ‘Last week I asked you all to read Mark Chapter 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand.’ Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Smiling, the preacher said, ‘You are the very people I want to talk to today.. the liars ……. Mark has only 16 chapters.’
God have Mercy.

Somewhere in SA, a young girl is
telling your father “Grow up dude”

You can’t be a Nurse and be ugly at the same time 😕
I mean We can’t be afraid of needles and you !!!

Did he ever tell you that when you send
him nudes he forward them to us(friends)
to admire?

Apart from I can die for u, you are my
heart which other lie do u know

Any Woman cheating on her man this year,
may catch fire , break a leg, loose your
front teeth and be struck by lightning.
Any man cheating on his woman, May we
be forgiven and shown the light, for we do
not know what we do.

So you caught your boyfriend sleeping
with another girl because you denied him
sex, and you have guts to say he’s
cheating?
My sister that’s very wicked and selfish!!
“If there’s no electricity, we use
generators”

Do lesbian leave each other for someone
with a bigger tongue and long fingers as
well?

Some girls don’t attend gym but they look
physically fit because of running from one
man to another.

Whatsapp Conversation Between Me And
My Girlfriend
Her : Hi
Me : Hi, Babe
Her : Babe, I’m Worried
Her : I’ve Missed My Period
Her : I Think I’m Pregnant
Her : Are You There!?
Her : Babe, You Not Answering My Call
Her : pollen !!!
Her : Stop Ignoring Me, Speak
“2 Minutes Later”
Me : Please, The Owner Of This Phone Just
Died In An Accident, This Is Mr Rainbow..
Her : Don’t Go There At All.. This Is Your
Handwriting..
Me : No It’s Not Me, I’m Really Dead

I brought my village girlfriend flowers then after an hour, my phone rang when I answered my girlfriend said “Baby this spinach that you brought, tastes funny.”
One word for her…

Girl: I can do anything 4 u.
Boy: Will you die for me?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: Will you delete ur Facebook account 4 me?
Girl: Go home Bro, Ur mother might be getting worried.

Whether I have a house or not if I’m dating a girl with a house,
I become the man of that house and she has to listen to me,
if not she must get out of my house

Today I stopped a taxi and greet the passengers and driver,
then Walked away, they hurled me insults..
.Is it wrong to greet people