They say milk gives strength.
I drank 4 cups of milk yet I wasn’t able to move a wall.
But when I drank 4 bottles of beer ,
I saw walls moving by themselves.
These scientists are bloody liars!!!

My room mate just came back with her boyfriend,
they have been staring at me for the past 4 hours,
they think I will go outside to give them privacy.
I cannot support evil…

In Africa we don’t need CCTV cameras,
the neighbours are enough .
if you think i’m lying bring your girlfriend at home
when your wife is not around and see

That moment when u visit your
rich relative in the surburbs,
then his wife serves u 2 slices of
bread,1 egg and a small cup of tea.Then the
children come to u and ask “uncle,so u will
finish all these?”
.
In yo heart u will be like “Fotseki,i finish the
whole loaf alone,now whats this?”

I have returned my wife back to her home village……………
Last week on Saturday i bought KFC bucket and she boiled the chicken and put onions and tomatoes and i kept quiet..
Then on Monday i brought Pizza and boom she put margarine/ butter and peanut butter and she gave me for breakfast….
yesterday i forgot my phone at home and i found 93 missed calls from her and i asked her why did she phone me.
She said she was trying to tell me that i forgot the phone at home….so i sent her back home..

To my unborn kids Daddy is not the one delaying ,
Its Mummy she is still busy following guys on Facebook

Daughter: Daddy can I go to my friend place to do my homework?
Dad: sit down.. Your Mom use to say the same thing when she want to come to me!!

Keep disrespecting your girlfriend like that,
one of these days she will remove her wig,
wash her make up
remove her nails
and talk to you man to man

U CANNOT give a woman everything she needs.
If God Himself gave them eyebrows,
they shave it and draw their own.
God gave them nails,
they cut it off and fixed their own,
God gave them* *hair,
they cut it off and fixed their own,
He gave them breast,
they repackage it to the size and shape they want.
God gave the lips,
every morning they paint it with different colours of lip stick.
*If even God can’t satisfy them then who are U to think that you can please them ? . My brother don’t kill yourself

Quote of the week
*Why can’t satan just apologise to God and we go back to Eden and be naked again…………..*
*there is a person that I want to see without clothes*

LADY’S TELL ME!!!
.
Break up – U Crying
Menstruation – U Crying
Child birth – U Crying
Engagement- U Crying
Wedding – U Crying
Sex – U Crying
Drunk – U Crying
.
What’s So Special About You??

This Morning I Didn’t Want My Family To Judge Me,
So I Passed Them With Only Two Cookies On The Plate
And 8 In My Pockets

URGENT please:
I’m looking for 17 people to come into my place,
I want them to come and watch a movie with me.. I wanted to watch it alone
But the movie is for 18 and Above

Hey guys,
Please be informed that somebody is trying to spread a dangerous rumour that I have stopped DRINKING alcohol.
I therefore categorically state here that at no point did I ever attempt to stop. In fact, I have never contemplated or dreamt about it.
These are lies fabricated by my enemies who want to tarnish my good reputation by preventing my family and friends like you from offering me drinks during this festive period.
I beg of you all to stay calm and vigilant while I investigate this BLACKMAIL.
I will keep you all updated