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The teacher said to his class one day, “Please stand up, anyone who thinks they’re stupid.”
Nobody stood up so the teacher said, “I’m sure there are some stupid students in this class!”

At this point Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, “Oh Johnny! So you think you’re stupid then?”

Little Johnny replied, “No, I just felt bad that you were standing up on your own

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When u caught your girlfriend cheating and
u start arguing with her then she looks at u and be like..
“ulwelani ngoba akahambanga nayo isekhona

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When politics rules the cue:
.
The story that Orlando Pirates beat Kaizer Chiefs 3-1 is not true and is pure propaganda by white owned media. It is intended to make people believe that teams coached by whites perfom better. We are tired of this monopoly capital and propaganda machinery that shows signs of white supremacy. We aren’t going to be dragged by white power to believe all the fallacies. The game never happened, just like we have been brainwashed and to believe that white is mightier. As blacks we are not going to be dragged into that white belief and white rule. The divide and rule by whites. The game never happened, we urge the black people to unite and stop insulting and teasing each other by promoting white stans.

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Police: ano pangalan mo?
Boy: MP sir.
Police: anong MP?
Boy: Matthias Paul sir.
Police: San nakatira ?
Boy: MP sir?
Police: Anong MP?
Boy: Mountain Province po.
Police: skills?
Boy: solving MP sir.
Police: (naiinis na) ano nanamang MP?
Boy: Math problems sir.
Police: Bakit ka nagaapply ng trabaho dito?
Boy: MP sir.
Police: (galit na) anong MP?!!
Boy: Money Problems sir.
Police: okay thank you.
Boy: Sir kamusta ang MP ko?
Police: Ha? ano nanaman yan?
Boy: My Performance sir?
Police: sa tingin ko may MP ka!
Boy: ano yun sir?
Police: Mental Problem!!!

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ET just arrived home, and his mother said!

“Where on Earth have you been?

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Whatever you do, always give 100%.
Unless you’re donating blood

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“Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?” Pastor replied, “No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.The man answered” “Pastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,000 in return for the burial service?” Pastor exclaimed, “Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t u tell me that dog was a Christian.”

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MY DIETING TIPs.
1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight.
2. Cut them out of your life.
3. Enjoy having lost hundreds of pounds of idiots.

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Jack goes to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. The desk sergeant says “You’ll get your chance in court”.Man says “No, No, No, I just want to know how he got into the house without waking up my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years !”

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Why did I get divorced?

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said.She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.

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niggas will laugh at you just
cause you don’t know Joburg but they
don’t know who their father is

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Whites: Yes
Blacks: Mm
Whites: No
Blacks: Mm mm
Whites: I beg your pardon
Blacks: mmmh?
Whites: Oh I get it now!
Blacks: mmmhmmm!

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Attention guys please avoid eating Russians Polony
and Mixed Portion Rainbow Things
They said they have virus that can kill you within 2days

Truly speaking not a joke

You can Google

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I swear some people say ” YELLOW ”
When they answer their Cell Phones

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The Problem with living alone is that,
Its always your turn to cook and wash dishes

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Make a password into a goal of yours so you constantly
have to be reminded of it.

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