When You Call The Number That’s Saved As “Failed Abortion” in Your Mom’s Phone
and Your Phone Starts Ringing

When the broom realises that a mop is now ready to wipe the floor, it accuse the floor of looking like soil its self. What i mean is that Coca Cola can never drink sprite spirally!

One morning at a doctor’s clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain.😓
The doctor examines him and asks him:
“Tell me what happened to your back😐…?”

The patient replies: “Sir, I work for a local night club. This morning I went to my apartment early and heard some noise in my bed room🤚.
On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open.
I rushed 🏃‍♂️out of the balcony door and did not find anyone.
As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself.🍆
I was very angry.😠 I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him.🤚
It was very heavy😞…
That is how I strained my back.!”

Later that day, a second patient arrives as if he has been in a car wreck😅.
The doctor said: “My previous patient looked bad..
But you look terrible😶..
What the hell happened to you🤨 ?”

He replied: “You know I have been unemployed for a while now.😏
Today was the first day at my new job…
I forgot to set my alarm and I was late…
I was running🏃‍♂️ out of the building, getting dressed at the same time.
And you won’t believe it but I was hit by a fridge🙄.
I don’t know how and where from this fridge fell on me😓…!!!”

Before closing hours, the third patient comes. He looks like he was punished in hell.😕

The doctor is shocked.
He asks: “What the hell happened to you🙁..??”

The patient replies:
“Well, It started like this, I was in a fridge……….”😂😂😂😂

A month ago i gave my number to this beautiful girl😊😋……she said “I will text You when i get home”
I think she is homeless😕 cause i’m still waiting

A man had four sons from different mothers☺
Brodwel,Kenneth,Conrad & Dominic
Now these guys asked their father why he
gave em those names,n what do they mean😐?

The father replied:
Take the first three letters of your names and
join em together you will find the answer

Telephone Convo between a SIDE CHICK and WIFE.😅
.
SIDE CHICK: Private number Hello😐 ??

WIFE: Hello, can I please to talk to Odelia.

SIDE CHICK: Yes u are talking to her, who am I talking to🤨?

WiFE: It’s not important, can u please do me a favour😏!

SIDE CHICK: What kind of favour🙄?

WIFE: Can you please stop calling my Husband🤚 !!! ??

SIDE CHICK: Okay fine😊. I was afraid, i thought you wanted to say i should stop sleeping with him.

boyfriends message : Babe I was
involved in an accident Palesa took me
to the hospital😭.
the doctors say I’m in a bad state, left
arm broken😓, cervical dislocation,😞 few
facial injuries and they have to
amputate my left leg.😭
°°°°°°°
Girlfriends message : Who is Palesa😐😠????

That Awkward Moment When You Realize You’re Walking In The Wrong Direction..
.
So You Hit Your Pockets Pretending You Forgot Something

Dating an uneducated girl sometimes is a problem…
Me : goodnight bbe sleep well and have a lovely dreams
Her : thanks my love and may your soul rest in peace

I did 100 push ups today, tomorrow I’m doing 300.
The day after, I will continue lying

A taxi passenger tapped🤚 the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed😱, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.😵
For a second everything went quiet in the cab🙄, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again🤚😏. You scared the daylights out of me😪!” The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.😐 “The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.

That moment when 🤔 you at a wedding 🤵🏾👰🏾 and you enjoying the seven colors 🍲🍝🍱 and then boom pastor Lukau start praying 🗣 and all beef 🥩and di chickens 🍗 starts ressurecting 🐓🐄 and you are left with rice and onions in your plate