Why did we break (me n my ex) ? Well, few months back it was my birthday(AUGUST). My ex girl didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my friends . I went to school and even my class mates didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my class, my bestie ( girl friend) said, “Happy birthday, !” I felt so special. She asked me out for chill. After chillin’ she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my ex , my parents, my friends , my classmates , & my cousins all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked
If you cheated on her and she dumps you then
after few month you ask for love back and
she agrees, just know she’s gonna pay revenge..
it’s her turn now my nigga.
Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions
1. Someone calls you at 2:am in
the night and ask you “are you
sleeping?”
Ans: no, I’m picking beans.
2. You’re making out with a girl
then you start pulling her pants
then she asks; what are you trying to
do?
Ans: I want to wash them for you
3. They see you coming out of
the bathroom, wet; ”did you just have
a bath?”
Ans: no, I fell into the toilet bowl
4. You standing right in front of
the elevator on the ground floor
going to your office, yet they ask;
”going up?”
Ans: no, I’m waiting for my office
to come down and meet me!
5. Your boyfriend comes home
with a bunch of flowers and you
still asks him; ”are those flowers?”
Ans: no baby, they’re carrots!
6. You’re in the queue at the
cinema to buy tickets, a friend
sees you and ask; ”what are you
doing here?”
Ans: I’m here to pay my school
fees!
7. When people see you lying
down with your eyes closed, they
still ask; ”are you sleeping?”
Ans: No! I’m practicing to die.
8. You went to a restaurant n the
waiter asks you: ”Plz can I get
you a table?”
Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the
floor.
9. Are you reading this post?
Ans:…..??????!!!!
Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: Three. Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: Ten dollars.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years.
Lady: So one pack is $10 and you’ve been smoking three packs a day, which puts your monthly spend at $900. In one year it would’ve been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: If you spend $10,800 a year, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your total spend at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn’t smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after calculating compound interest for the past 15 years, you could’ve by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Yes. Oh! Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where’s your fucking Ferrari?
“Do not look at yourself with disgust, you are a gift to this earth.
You are beautiful, you are a light, an energy, an essence. You are nature herself.”
— Heidi Pickett
If someone can go about their day without talking to you,
then you might not be as important like they say you are.
Actions speak louder than words and that’s clearly a sign
they’re just interested in you when they have nothing to do.
Things will be okey
Everything will be fixed
Our dreams will come true
And our wounds will heal
We need to keep believing
Have faith and passion
Allah is with us 💜
Nighty sweet dreams and prayer that will come true inshallah
There was football match between birds
and domestic animals and Mr bat wanted to
play for the but it was not allowed
because of its numerous teeth.
It went to the domestic animals and it was selected.
I will continue next time.
पति : ये कैसी दाल बनाई है , न नमक है ना मिर्च ,तुम ना सारा दिन मोबाइल में लगी रहती हो , कुछ पता ही
नहीं चलता, क्या डालना क्या
नहीं ?
पत्नी : (बेलन दिखाते हुए )
पहले तुम मोबाइल साइड में रखके खाना खाओ- कब से देख रही हूं … कि पानी में डुबो- डुबो रोटी खा रहे हो
