How to survive January

1) date a taxi driver for free ride to work

2) attend each and every funeral in your hood for a free plate

3) borrow meat from your neighbours and make soup and take it back

4) stay away from broke girls or niggas even he/she is your xondile

5) use one teabags at least 3× before you throw it away

6) use a taxi to work and save petrol

7) mix water with sugar to make a drink

8) try to use prostitutes for sexual needs to avoid imali yekhanda and unnecessary use of money

First year Students at University of Amahlanya la engifunda khona, were receiving their first anatomy class, on the surgery table was a dead cow.

They gathered around the table. The professor started the class by telling them, ” in Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Vet doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.” For example
, The Professor stuck his finger in the anus of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth – “mhh… low on fibre” he said.

“Go ahead and do the same thing, “He told his students. The student freaked out, hesitant but went ahead and eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking it very disgusted but most murmuring the same conclusion, “yes… low on fibre”.

When everyone had finished, the professor looked at them and said “While I can’t fault you in your methods to diagnose low fibre, the second most important quality of a Vet Doctor is the power of observation, if you had observed carefully, I stuck in my middle finger and sucked my index finger. Now learn to pay attention otherwise you will eat a lot of crap in my class.

Make sure your friends pay attention today