Girlfriend : “I wish i was a Newspaper so i could be in your hands everyday”
–
Ronnie : “ok me too i wish you were a Newspaper so i could have a new one everyday”
*

I hate it when people see me at a shop but still ask me what am i doing.
Then i would simply say “well i’m hunting wild animals”

There are 3 kinds of people :
Those who make things happen.
Those who watch things happen.
Those who wonder what the hell happened.

Richman and a Teacher in Class.
Teacher : Where’s your Book?
Richman : At Home.😐
Teacher : Well, What is it doing there?
Richman : Having more fun than me

A police officer👮 arrested a man for urinating at a clearly marked
“Do Not Urinate Here”❎ offenders would pay R100💸
–
The offender[Man] was asked to pay💸 he gave the police officer R200💸💸 note.
–
The police officer👮 turned to him and said “urinate” again, I don’t have change

Your Boyfriend Is With You Because
He Couldn’t Get The Girl He Wanted!!!

You’re too young for me
if you haven’t put a stone underneath your tongue
hoping that you won’t be beaten for getting home late. ..

Yesterday in a cramped bus..
Lady: Something of yours is touching me.
TC: Oh! That… that’s just my salary in my pocket.
Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes?

Wife : Love , Our Son Just Called Me A Bitch
Because I Didn’t Give Him Money
Husband : Where Is That Son Of A Bitch?

A Chinese Kid Was Born Before The Due Date,
His Parents Named Him “Sudden Lee”.

Son: “Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter”.
Father: “Oh hoo, I wish you hadn’t said that.
I have to tell you something son, but you must
promise not to tell your mother.
Sandra is actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even
hotter!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Oh ho, I wish you hadn’t said that.
Angela is also your sister.”
This went on couple of times and the son was so
mad,
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: “Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with
six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
“My love, you can date whoever you want.
Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
Son Fainted…