Some people Chew Chappies until it turns into A Bostick.

Ronnie walks into a bar, goes to the bartender and says “give me a beer before the problem starts”
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After drinking the 1st bottle, again he says to the bartender “give me another one before the problem starts”
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He give him, this goes on till the 5th bottle. The bartender then asks Ronnie “when are you going to pay for your beers?”
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Ronnie replys “eish, Now the problem starts”.

Manchester City – eyes on EPL, UEFA, FA Cup, Carabao Cup
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Chelsea – all eyes on EPL, UEFA, FA Cup
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Man United – all eyes on EPL, FA Cup, Uefa
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Liverpool – all eyes on next season

I don’t like this idea of my grandmother
getting more likes than me.

Of course you are not fat,
just grab a couple of chairs and sit down.

A house girl asked her madam to increase her salary. The madam ask her to give 3 reasons why she need her salary to be increased…

*House girl:I can cook better than u
*Madam:Who told u that?
*House girl:Ur husband told me.
*Madam: OK second reason….!
*House maid:I can iron better than u.
*Madam:Who told u that?
*House girl:Ur husband told me.
*Madam:OK,last reason.
*House girl:I’m also better than u in bed(Madam got furious, grabbed a stick to smash her head)
*Madam:Did my husband say that?
*House girl:No,the driver told me I’m better than u in bed.
*Madam:Shhhh!Lower ur voice please! I will increase ur salary immediately. You’re such a hard working girl.

Witchcraft is when you work at SPUR and your ex come with his new girlfriend on her birthday
n you have to sing her

Busy telling us about your relationship here on Facebook…
Are we your online-in-laws?

Kadyo: man, do you know my dog’s intelligence.
Berto: really man? How did you say?
Kadyo: since yesterday was my neighbor asked him. 2 + 2 said. Then, he bark at four times.
Berto: is it good?
Kadyo: but there’s a problem, buddy.
Berto: oh why?
Kadyo: my neighbor asked him again 2 MILLION + 2 million. Until now, still bark. I haven’t eaten anything yet.