Guys wigs are meant to confirm beauty,
but some girls wear them to confirm gender.

I wonder what old people are doing on Facebook.
When they are here, then who is getting the
heart attacks and strokes?
People should know their place.

Barbara has a heart attack. During this, she dies and meets God. “Will I die?” she asked. “Not yet,” God replied, “You will live for another thirty five years,three months, and seven days.” At this instant, she snapped back alive. After the heart attack, she decides to make the most of her life. She gets a face lift,Botox, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even gets a surgery to change the colour of her hair. After her final surgery, she walks out and gets hit by a truck and dies. When she goes up in heaven and meets God, she’s steaming.

“What was that!?”Barbara asked. “What?” God responded, “You died.”

“You said I would live another thirty five years!”

“Oh.” God thought for a while. “I didn’t recognise you.

CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAD MAN AND A NORMAL MAN*

*Normal Man:* Why is that you people (mad people) always laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about?

*Mad man:* Its because you people don’t see what we see.

*Normal Man:* What do you people see?

*Mad man:* Have u ever seen an ant breastfeeding it babies? Or dogs having a marriage ceremony?

*Normal Man:* (Burst out with laughter..) Hahahaha!!! (and accidentally puffed)

*Mad man:* See how you are laughing and puffing now without even seeing anything.. what more will you do if you see those things? Obvious!! You will need pampers!

Husband was sipping his whisky, while sitting in the balcony with wife and he says,

“I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”

👩🏼 Wife asks, “Is that you, or the whisky talking?”

👴🏼 Husband replies, “It’s me….. talking to the whisky.”

A moment of silence for people who were born on 29th February in this group….coz this year has nothing like 29th Feb….So how will you wish them ??
HAPPY DELETED BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE or what??

No matter how clever you think you are,
but when a 3 year old kid gives you a toy phone,
you will talk to it .

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he kicked open a bottle, and, guess what? Our dear, friendly neighbourhood genie pops out! So, as you know, he had to give her a wish;
“I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies.”

The genie granted the man’s wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.

He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing greens for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love — which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Genie, I don’t know what I was thinking.

I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh please, let us trade back.”

The genie replied, “My dear, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You’ll have to wait 9 months, though.

You got pregnant last night!”