There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim.
When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?”
The preacher calmly said “No, God will save me.”

A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked,
“Hey, do you need help?”

The preacher replied again, “No God will save me.”
Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God replied, “Fool, I sent you two boats!”

CONFUSION is when Ur parents tell u that Sex before marriage is a sin but u appear in their wedding pictures..

A grade 2 kid was coming from school he entered the taxi and he started singing “if my father was a King my mother will be a Queen and I’ll be a Prince”
The taxi driver silenced the kid but the kid continued “if my father was the President my mother will be the First Lady and I’ll be the First Son”
then with anger the taxi driver asked the kid “what if your father was a robber what will your mother be and what will you be”
and the boy said “if my father was a robber my mother will be a prostitute and I’ll be a taxi driver

I am a 30 year old single guy, hard working and self motivated.

Am seriously looking for a beautiful,black and strong
Laptop to buy.

Jack’s in the bathroom and His wife shouts to him
“Did you find the shampoo?”
Jack says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine

The wife has done nothing but stare through the bloody window since it started snowing…
If it gets any heavier I might have to let her in