A woman awakes during the night to find
that her husband was not in their
bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes
downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table
with a hot cup of coffee in front
of him. He appears to be in deep thought,
just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye
and takes a sip of his coffee.
‘What’s the matter, dear?’ she whispers as
she steps into the room, “Why
are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up from his coffee,”I am
just remembering when we
first met 20 years ago and started dating.
You were only 16. Do you remember
back then?” he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that
her husband is so caring, so
sensitive.
“Yes, I do.” she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not
coming easily.
“Do you remember when your father caught
us in the back seat of my car?”
“Yes, I remember!” said the wife, lowering
herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues,“Do you remember
when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said,’Either you marry my daughter,
or I will send you to jailfor 20 years?”
“I remember that too.” she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and
says,”I would have been released today.”

“In High school, I was very poor in Maths and Chemistry. During the exams, i’d get between 2% an 8%. The results used to be announced out from the lowest to the highest marks. So i would always be the 1st or 2nd to be called out. One day the Maths results were being released and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out. The teacher got to 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s &70s. Still my paper had not been called out. Everyone kept looking at me asking” Man wats up? And the teacher went on to the 80s and when he got to 88%, he had one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in Maths ? I was feeling very anxious and happy now that I knew I had proved the so called Genius wrong.. The whole class was amazed as every one kept looking at me. It was unbelievable. Finally the teacher looked up and said, There is a cow who did not write his name on the paper that scored 0%. If you have not received your paper come and get it now”

What is Mhlolo?
.
Mhlolo is when you give a lift to a
beautiful girl and she faints in your car. You take her to the
hospital and the doctor says she is pregnant and
congratulates you that you will soon be a father . You shout
that you are not the father but the girl insist that you are the
father……Things are now getting Mhloloful you now require a
DNA test to prove that you are not the father…Things
become Mhlolostic when the doctor comes with results
saying you cannot be the father because you are infertile….
You are relieved but on your way home you remember you
are married with three kids at home!….. Now you are
extremely Mhlolicious Now you begin to ask yourself who is
the father to those three kids?… Now you get home to find
out the father to those kids is your gateman … You are now
Mhloloned You then decide to go to your mum to tell her the
sad news… Your mum with tears running down her cheeks
tells you ‘my son I’m so sorry….your dad isn’t your real
dad’…. Then you know things are Mhlolocated And if you
dont forward this you are a Mhlolocriosis

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations. When the third man starts examining her body so closely,she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation? “The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor. “

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,”he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand andwhispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”