Meanwhile In Court

Lawyer : Carolina Please Tell The Court What Really Happened In the 27th of June 2019

Carolina (🐸) : Me Is Playing And Eat Rats Butter

Lawyer : You What ? isizulu Please

Carolina ( 🐸) : Umuntu Umudlalisa Ufake Ratex Ekudlen Yena Akasavuk Mxm

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Usanele wayesebenza e Goli kaaaaade
Wahamba ekhaya kuthi mhla ifika
ekhaya ifike ebsuku kanti khona
ikhwapha, i knock Usanele✊✊:

(e) uNKOSKAZ,
ubani loyo:😱😱

Usanele: ,imina nkoskaz
wam vula icabange

Unkoskaz: ukuthi
izokwenzanjani ithathe iskhwama
eskhuuuuulu ithi ishende alingene
phakathi avale uziphu asbeke
ngemva kwescabha emese eyavula
ke angene Usanele ahlale embhedeni
kanti bekusazofika elinye ishende
lakamakhelwane uma sekuhambe
leli elinye, lafika lanqonqoza
asukume umfaz avule athi “Haaw
uwe makhelwane bezishilo ingane
ukuthi ushiye impahla yakho la
emini ngingekho ngsaye emfuleni ithathe nansi
emva kwescabha”
asqukule lombhemu isikhwama
asisindi sinomuntu phansi aphume
naso athi mesesemnyango “ey yaz
indaba yokudla abafaz babantu
bukan nje umuntu eseze athwaliswe inguzunga
zamatshe”
aphendule lo oseskhwameni athi
“uncono wena nendlela uyaybona
mina angaz nokuthi ngiyiswaphi”
ladaklaza phansi iskhwama leli🏃🏃😂😂😂😂
lahamba kakhulu ngejubane…

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Advice me please

😒Ngabe kuwrong ukugqoka izimpahla zikamufi esaphila? 😏🤷‍♂️

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Inkani🤷‍♂️ kulamantombazane afana nobababo, agoloze usisi ubone kahle ukuthi uyiseke manje lo ☝️
🗣️ Ngyaxolisa nomzanu Xaba🙏

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Dating a Zulu girl…..

Me: Love you😍😍😍

Her: Uphi u ‘I’ oh umshiye ku Lesego😏🙄?

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Umsindo okamakhelwane usisi wakhona uZandile obondlayo ufuna basebenzise isbongo sendoda yakhe.

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Jabu: hey baby I’m coming 2day
Sli : I’m on my periods just incase
Jabu: I’m sori love I’m not coming
imoto yami seyiphumelwe isondo
Sli: Wothi umngan wakho
akak’lethe
Jabu: udutshulwe izolo
usesbhedlela
Sli : k angbonanga kahle angikho
kuma periods
Jabu: nangu umngan wam
engfonela uthi phume izolo
esbhedlela
Sli: weh naku ngi ngena kuma
periods
Jabu: oh Jesu naku umngan wam
bephinda bemdubula..

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Uma ngiphosta ihlaya elibhuquzisayo:

Normal people – 😂
Slow learner – 👍🏽

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Ugibele nomakhelwane etaxin umuzwe eseth”ndlulisa imali macela impuphu”

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Grade 12’s here is ur new time table
08:30- Generations
09:00- Muvhango
09:30- Skeem Saam
10:00- Emzini Wezinsizwa
10:30 Break
11:30- Rhythm City
12:00- Scandal

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Kanti vele kwenzeka njani ukuthi umuntu ezivelela eZim esehlala eHillbrow umuzwe esesithi: “efletini lami”, uyabe eselithenge malini or eseliphiwe ngubani?

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Angilele ngiyacabanga la, why ilayisi libuya linjalo uma uhlanza kodwa ube uhlafunile?

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Nibahle ozo comment u worse.

Or

Nibambi ongeke a comment u worse

Or

Nibahle ozo comment ayhi mubi muhle kakhulu

Plz Comment!,,,,,,

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Umama wathatha uMxolisi ingane yakhe yomfana wathi: “Mxolisi, asihambe siyolanda ubaba wakho ethuneni, uwena ozokhuluma ngoba uwumfana wakhe wokuqala nowokugcina. Uzombingelela umtshele ukuthi singobani bese umtshela ukuthi sizomlanda simbuyisela ekhaya simhlabele inkomo ngakho angakhathazeki uma efika kugcwele egcekeni. Mina ngeke ngikhulume ngoba uma uphethe ihlahla lomphafa awukhulumisi muntu ophilayo ngoba lo ongasekho uzosala endleleni.”

Bahambe-ke baye ethuneni baguqe eduze kwethuna.

Mxolisi: “Eita timer, ngiyacava u-grand hier. Imina intwana yakho, ngivaya ne-Olas la. Buka, grand grand wena timer sizokuncuka daar sivaye nawe. Siya endabukweni, uyang’thola?. So wena gidla kuleli qabunga sivaye-ke. Ungalokhu uzikhuphula kakhulu ngalabo sdumbu ozobafica begcwele edladleni. Sikugingqele ibhasi lonke, cabanga! Asimashe-ke!”

Waquleka umama.

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Hhayi bo! Nakhu ngifica umuntu okhulelwe estobhini, sesime sobabili manje sekungathi yimi-ke lo ogile lo mkhuba. 😐

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