Crush: may ruler ka?
Me:…???
Crush: f*ck! Sagotin moko!!
Me: p*ta! Oo na tayo nah! taena naman eh
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Pagkatapos ni Maria maligo, lumapit siya kay Boknoy at naglambing.
Maria: Babe, tapos na akong maligo. Na ahitan ko na rin. Alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin.
Boknoy: Syempre, alam ko na yan babe. Barado na naman ang banyo. !
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Kunwari Masaya ako.
Ikaw anu ung Kunwari mo?
-Dyosa
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ANAK:tay,bakit may usok kapag nag iinit tayo ng tubig?
EVAPORATION yan tay diba?
TATAY:hindi anak mga KALULUWA yan ng mga germs na pupunta sa langit!”
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Felimon: best friend, are you nagpatuli?
Boknoy: of course, I’m more. Why are you?
Felimon: it’s not yet. I’d like to have it.
Boknoy: why are you tagpos?
Felimon: Yes, look at it. Up and down, up and down.
Boknoy: yeah. Let’s go with you.
– home went home to get to pay.
Felimon:Tay, May I have 50 papatuli I am
Dad: so, I don’t have any change, my child. In your mother. “wait, are you?”
Felimon: Yes, dad. Look, up and down up and down.
– she went to his mother.
Felimon: Mom, may I have 50 papatuli.
Mom: is there in your sister, I don’t have money with it. Are you tagpos?
Felimon: Yes, mom. Look at this, up and down and down.
– she went to his sister bathing in the bathroom.
Felimon: sister sister can give 50 pampatuli only oh.
Sister: all right, just wait
– out of the sister
Sister: so why are you tagpos?
Felimon: Yes, sister. Look at it, up and down up and down
Sister: you are still losing me.
Felimon: why is it?
Sister: look at this. Close open close open.
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kung pampahaba ng buhay ang pancit
bakit hindi ito nireresita ng doctor?
comment down 👇 who want some answer
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HABANG NAGLALAKAD SI JUAN.MAY SUMUSUNOD SA KANYANG MULTO…
MULTO:awoooo…awwooo
JUAN:sino yan..😱😱
MULTO:multo ako.👻👻
JUAN:cge nga patunayan mo nga.😒😒
MULTO:oh ito yung birth certificate at baptismal ko din marriage kontract ko..at ito yung ATM..pakiwidro nalang para sa libing ko
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Pedro:Juan sabihin mo nga Jan sa kano young bag nya bukas baka may mahulog..
Juan:hey!yow men your bag is tomorrow cow is falling…hahahahah…
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Kapag malapit na pasukan
Girls: Sana tumagal pa ang bakasyon, sana bumagyo lumindol para masira yung school
Boys: Sana po magpasukan na para marami po akong matutunan.
See the difference?
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Girl: Hey. Don’t you mind me? Let’s weeksarry now! 😏
Boy: I’m not in the mood. I lost in earlier! 😳
Girl: I am lost in Chinese Garter, am I angry with you? 😕 susumbong kita later with my brother.
Boy: shhh… stop crying na libre nalang kita ng mikmik babe.
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Dear Aso , Pag dadaan ako sainyo sana wag mokong tahulan at habulin,
pag ikaw nga dumadaan samin di kita tinatahulan eh
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Anak: Tay, hindi ako naka score sa asawa ko kagabi!
Tatay: Bakit naman anak?
Anak: Kasi tay may nakalagay dun sa panty niya.
Tatay: Ano naman nakalagay
Anak: “NO TRESPASSING PRIVATE PROPERTY”
Ama: Ganito gawin mo anak, mag lagay ka rin sa brief mo ng DEMOLITION TEAM GOVERNMENT PROJECT DO NOT DELAY!
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Anak:ma pano pag na buntis ako?
Mama:kawawa yung baby mo
Anak:bakit naman po?
Mama:syempre wala kang dede,ano pa dede mo?😂
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Wala namang Pandikit yung bayag
pero bakit di sila naghihiwalay?😂
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Anong ayaw na ayaw na kanta ng Centipede?
Ano?
I have two hands, the left and the right..
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SA ISANG LIBLIB NA BARYO… BATA: Lolo, pwede po magtanong? Lolo Jose: Ano yun ineng? BATA: Saan po papunta itong daan na to? Lolo Jose: Alam mo ineng, matagal na ako dito pero hindi ko pa nakitang umalis yang daan na yan
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