I was in a taxi sitting next to a beautiful lady…I decided to ask for her digits
“`
She took out her phone from her bag,
switched it off infront of me and said:
“Sorry my battery is dead”
“`
☆☆☆Even now im still fainting☆☆☆

In A bus Today
`
`
Conductor: Nice dress
☆
Lady: Thanks!
☆
Conductor: Nice earrings
☆
Lady: Thanks
☆
Conductor: Nice Lipstick
☆
Lady: wooow thanks
☆
Conductor: But still you are not looking beautiful

When u are being beaten up in a fight and then someone shouts “let them fight”
`
`
Bro u will think the devil is the referee

Skinny Chicks With Small Butts Be Like “Don’t
Touch My Butt” Instead Of “Don’t Touch My ass bones”

Gone are those days when women cry over breakup ….
Nowadays once u leave they will be like “Neeeeeext

Treat your Bae right and God will bless you
with another one, can i get some
AMEN

Stop bragging about your curves ladies
MOTOROLA 113 had curves too,
but where is it now

Welcome to Swaziland where parents remove their glasses
just to hear what u saying

U call me with a private number and you expect me to speak first?..
We will do the breathing competition until your airtime is finished

A black child is not scared of going back to school…
.
He is afraid of bathing everyday

These are some proverbs in African Nations.
1. The anger of a penis doesn’t destroy the vagina.
(Zimbabwe)
2. There’s no virgin in a maternity ward. (Cameroon)
3. A child can play with it’s mother’s breasts but not with
the father’s testicles. (Ghana)
4. The man who marries a beautiful woman and the farmer
who grows corns by the road side have the same problem.
(Ghana)
5. When you see a woman sitting with her legs open, never
tell her to close them, because you do not know her
source of fresh air. (Ethiopia)
6. He who says that nothing lasts forever has never tried
Hausa perfume.(Nigeria)
7. The only woman who knows where her man is every
night is a widow. [Togo]
8. An erected penis has no conscience. (Uganda)
9. If you go to sleep with an itching anus, you are sure to
wake up with smelly fingers. (Kenya)
10. The day a mosquito lands on your testicles is the day
you will know there is a better way of resolving issues
without using violence.(Kenya)

Angry wife: “I should have married the devil,he would make a better husband than you.”
Hubby:”they would have arrested you!!marriage between relatives is illegal in this country. “😂😂😂😂 DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME

A senior citizen drove his brand new Mercedes to 120km/hr, looking in his rear view mirror , he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, … then 170, … Suddenly he thought, “I’m too old for this nonsense…!” So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him . The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a good reason that I’ve never heard before for why you were speeding. I’ll let U go.”
The man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- “Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back.” !!! 😵😁😖😂
The Cop left saying, ” Have a good day, Sir