Lebo:Does this shirt make me look fat?
Tebza:No, it’s the fat that makes u look fat
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Friend or love?
B1-, buddy, I have a problem.
B2- What is it, buddy?
Yehey, my wife is fighting for a fight.
B2-, what are you fighting for?
B1- He chose me if a friend or love.
B2, so friend you chose because you’re here? 😁😂😃😄
B1- Not pre love I chose.
I love you, buddy
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I AM A WOMAN!!! –
So what?
I get into an argument with a man, he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
Because I am a woman, I don’t have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality…..
Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ”it is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down, dress better, cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him”
I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.
So I am sent packing, from the home we both built, with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head. I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children, I’m lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is “after-three”, because I am a woman.
He is 28 and runs a company. He’s tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented, successful at a very young age.
I am 28 and I run a company ” Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money, let her go and get a husband oh”
And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person’s gender.
Because I am a woman,
I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.
Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, “a runs girl”. They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.
Because I am a woman.
A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he’s being praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.
A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, “ahhh! so early? Are u sure she wasn’t sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband. She’s a witch! ” Because she’s a woman.
Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.
But don’t forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!!
Share to respect some woman.
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INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an
umbrella.
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the
following
circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its
master.
b. The moment Julie G. starts unbuttoning her
blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss’ car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The
Crying Game”.
e. When she is using her teeth.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you
must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours,
his sister is off limits forever unless you actually
marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in
a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at
will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall
never be required to buy a birthday
present for another man. In fact, even remembering
your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.
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The story behind “ladies first”:
Long ago, a man ‘n woman were madly in love.They wanted to get married but their parents didn’t approve.So they decided to kill themselves.They thought the best way to do it was to leap off a cliff…The man couldn’t bare to see his sweetheart fall before him.. so he convinced her he would go first, and he jumped..
.
.
.
.
.
But that bitch never did..
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If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
If he does not love you anymore, what do u think can make him start re-loving you?
There is only LOVE in the Dictionary, no “RE-LOVING”
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.”You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
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A wife wakes up in the middle of the night and starts applying her makeup right there in bed…… Husband stares at her and asks “Have you lost your mind ?” She Replies “I need to unlock my phone, it’s on face recognition and it doesn’t recognize me”.
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A very wealthy man had a Birthday party and he invited everyone in his town. In his Mansion, he had a big pool filled with alligators. So he announced that anyone who was able to swim across the pool and come out unharmed would be granted three wishes.
Immediately, there was complete silence, nobody wanted to risk his or her life. All of a Sudden, there was a big splash and Akpos was swimming like hell! He successfully came out alive.
He was then given a round of applause. Everyone was anxious to know what gave Akpos the courage to do it, but then, the host asked, “What are your three wishes?”
Akpos replied, “Give me a shotgun, 3 rounds of shells (bullets) and show me the idiot who pushed me inside the Pool!.”
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I’ve started receiving texts mostly from ladies like:
“Its being a while”
“I Missed you so much”.
“You’re so sweet my dear”.
“Where are you?”
😳😳😳
BUT
No weapon formed against my wallet will prosper this Valentines day
Amen
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Phone rings☎*:
*GIRL:* Hello
*GUY:* My L♡ve how are you doing?
*GIRL:* Am fine.
*GUY:* Will you be free during the weekend, & can you come to my house🏠?
*GIRL:* Am sorry I cant make it because I will be attending my Aunty’s wedding👰and the next
day I’ll be busy, I’m so occupied.
*GUY:* Ooh ok, I was just planning to take you out for shopping, suprise you with an iPhone📱 7 (256 GB jetblack) then buy you the dress👗, louboutin shoes👠👠you’ve been asking for…
*GIRL:* I will be coming & I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my L♡ve.
*GUY:* What about the
wedding👨👰?
*GIRL:* Which wedding, I was only joking.
*GUY:* Me too!
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I don’t care anymore, about anything or anyone. Nothing interests me, I don’t react to all the shit that’s going on around me. I feel my self alone, so alone that I cannot hear but the bustle of thoughts, chaos and mess in my head even while being with a bunch of people. They think I’m just a weird person, quiet and psycho that has nothing with the graduate world, judging my silence and lack of contact with them .. I knew so many people and I saw in each one of them how much they’re fake, I saw hypocrisy and selfishness .. I’ve been through many situations, life thought me not to trust, not to depend on anyone, . I learned to be strong and to repair m’y broken pieces
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TODAY, Don’t think of saying any UNKIND W0RD, think of the people who can’t speak.
Don’t complain about the FOOD yu eat,
some have nothing.
Don’t complain about LYFE, many die
young.
When you’re TIRED of your job, think of the jobless, the disabled & those who wish they had urs.
When SAD TH0UGHTS seem to put you
down, paint a SMILE on your face & thank GOD you’re alive n you’re still around.
LYFE’s a gift. LIVE IT WELL
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We have yet another set of Army Worms preparing to attack Men’s wallets and Bank accounts on the 14th of February. Advise from the Office of The Vice President Disaster Management and Mitigation Unit is for Men to use the strongest pesticide i.e Switching off your phones and change location._
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A man and his wife came home drunk and went to sleep.
.
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.
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.
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.
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.
So you scrolling for what cause I said they went to sleep.??
Do you want to wake them up?
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*Ladies, If you play your man like a football,
another woman will catch him like a goalkeeper,
you will regret watching the highlights*
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Nyaa came from school and dancing.
His father wondered what made so happy and decided to ask.
Dad : Son I have never seen you in this mood for a
while now…..any good news u want to share?
Nyaa : Dad next year you won’t be buying any textbook, notebooks and writing materials…..
Dad : That’s my son, why …. did you win a Scholarship?
Nyaa : No! Dad I’m repeating the same class
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