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A grade 2 kid was coming from school he entered the taxi and he started singing “if my father was a King my mother will be a Queen and I’ll be a Prince”
The taxi driver silenced the kid but the kid continued “if my father was the President my mother will be the First Lady and I’ll be the First Son”
then with anger the taxi driver asked the kid “what if your father was a robber what will your mother be and what will you be”
and the boy said “if my father was a robber my mother will be a prostitute and I’ll be a taxi driver

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I am a 30 year old single guy, hard working and self motivated.

Am seriously looking for a beautiful,black and strong
Laptop to buy.

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Jack’s in the bathroom and His wife shouts to him
“Did you find the shampoo?”
Jack says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine

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The wife has done nothing but stare through the bloody window since it started snowing…
If it gets any heavier I might have to let her in

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Gays,if all men are the same,why do you still get married to them. ….

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Don’t bite off something you know you won’t be able to chew.

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Good morning.for he is your mentor,
you have to praise and give thanks to him and
face your life with no fear for he owns your future.

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My dear beloved brothers and sisters life is a freely gift given contract that needs to be lived to its full as purposed by God so make sure you do the right thing that will leave a good mark to the peoples life.We don’t do as long and pass,we do right thing as we live real life not a fake one because no one fake your life and become real. No other than yourself who can play your role in this universe they may imitate you but they will not match you perfectly as you do so be careful you are unique.

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Ladies if you pay rent alone but your man comes over ,walks around naked ,eats all your food.
That’s not a man ,that’s a rat !

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NAKED TRUTH

*Strange things we do in Africa in the name of “It’s Our Culture*

*1. We care more for the dead than we do for the living!*

*2. We spend more to bury a person than we do to save their life.*

*3. We will not travel to go see a sick relative but will travel to bury him /her*

*4. People will rarely respect you while alive but will want to “pay their last respects” to your casket.*

*5. A person may NEVER receive roses in their entire life but they will get lots dumped on their graveyard!*

*6. We will spend a night at a neighbour’s funeral and it will be our first time to see the inside of their house!*

*7. No one gives a damn to know your village until you die and they will all fill car after car to “escort” your corpse*

*8. We will take the dead to the mosque/temple/church knowing fully well they had nothing to do with worship while alive.*

*9. We might not have granite tops in our kitchens but use the granite in the graveyard!*

*10. An entire village might not have a single house with cement floors but the only place with cement will be a graveyard!*

*It is proposed we have “Cultural Reforms”. We have a culture of “hypocrisy”
… a culture that is “Pro-death” and NOT “Pro-life!”*
*We need to value life BEFORE death.*
*Best person ever who came to my heart left with scars but l will never forget that touch* Please love me while I am alive, show me your kindness now that I need it, your presence at my funeral will never make up for your absence when I have the greatest need of you. Do it now than regret later.

*This got me thinking

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My girlfriend said I must delete my Facebook account or
she’s leaving me
So I’ll be back guys; let me help her pack her bags

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Dear White men,
U asked us to wear coats under hot sun, we did;
U said we should speak your language,
we have obediently ignored ours.
U asked us to always tie a rope around our necks like goats,
we have obeyed without questioning.
U asked our ladies to wear dead people’s hair instead of the natural
hair God gave to them, they have obeyed.
U said we should marry just one woman in the midst of plenty black angels,
we reluctantly agreed.
You said our decent girls should wear catapults instead of the conventional pants, they have obeyed.
You asked us to use rubber in order to control our birth rate,
we agreed yet we all know sweetness of live SEX!

Now U want our MEN to sleep with fellow MEN &
WOMEN with fellow WOMEN so that God would punish us like
Sodom and Gomorrah?
White folk, we say Nonsense!!
We don’t agree with U this time!
As proud Africans, we say a huge NO to GAY relationships.
If you agree with me,let’s claps hands together wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawa

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A Preacher said: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river”. Again the congregation cried,”Amen!”
The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up & said: “For our closing hymn, let’s turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, ‘We shall drink from that river’.
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!

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Nyaa was given an assignment to
find out what would happen to a
grasshopper after all its leg as been ripped off.

Nyaa couldn’t do it on his own so he brought the
grasshopper along with him to school.
In the teacher’s presence Nyaa started taking
the legs out one after the other
Nyaa said (after removing the first leg) “Jump!
Grasshopper jump!” the grasshopper jumped
he did this as he removed legs and the grasshopper
kept jumping upon removing the last leg
Nyaa said again “Jump! Grasshopper jump!”
but the grasshopper didn’t move,

the teacher who as been watching the
whole drama then asked Nyaa
“so Nyaa, what happens to a grasshopper
whose legs as been ripped off?”

Nyaa smiled and said “It looses IT’S ABILITY TO HEAR”

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