If you think a shot of an AK47 gun is loud* *then you have never*
*heard a sound of a falling pot lid* *
when you are trying to steal meat at night* 🍯

This year I wanna meet a girl with books and files bump into her then they fall… We pick them up together look into each other’s eyes and live happily ever after

On the 31st December, I hired 20 people on my non existant company, bcos I was drunk. Now they keep calling me, they wanna start working. What can I do guys?

Dear Ladies . Call your man and say ,
You thought i won’t find out then hang up your phone
don’t answer his calls. You will hear the confession

I’m Selling My Camp Chair, Cooler box and Braai Stand
I Need Money For Transport To Get To Work

I remember once when my dad gave me
money to pay the electricity bill but instead i
bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car.
When i got home,i explained to my dad
what i did and he beat the crap out of me.
But the next day,when my dad woke up and
opened the door,outside my house was a
brand new car. We all cried especially
me,because the car was from the electricity
company,they were there to cut off the
electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me
again.

After making love with a sugar mama then she fetch her old album then be like: you see this one I was doing Standard 8 and this one its Sarah it was my friend but she has already passed away.

Home vs Varsity vs Work
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Home: No Data but free food
.
Varsity: free Data but No Food.
.
Work: No Data No Food.

Smoke causes * CANCER *
..
Alcohol Cause *DANCER *

If you have never spoken Chinese in your life
My friend today it’s your chance repeat these words fast👇👇
“MY SHOE SHALL SOON SHINE”

HOW TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE A NORMAL PERSON

1>YOU HAVE FACEBOOK
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2>YOU HAVE A CELLPHONE
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4>YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME READING THIS
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5>YOU DIDN’T NOTICE THERE IS NO NUMBER 3
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7>YOU JUST CHECKED TO SEE OF THERE IS NO NUMBER 3
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8>WHERE IS NUMBER 6 , IDIOT ?
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9>YOU’RE NOW SMILING BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU’RE AN IDIOT
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10>WHERE IS NUMBER 1?
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11>YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE ME AND WENT TO CHECK !
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12>YOU’RE NOT NORMAL AT ALL

Going To Bed the other night

I noticed people in my shed stealing things.

I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help me. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.

I hung up

A minute later I rang again.

“Hello”, i said , ” I Called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed , you don’t have to hurry now ,because I’ve shot them “…

Within Minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area plus Helicopters and armed response unit.

They caught the bundars red-handed

one of the officers said : ” I thought you said you’d shot them.

To Which I replied: “I thought you said there was no one available”.

My Goal in 2019 Is To Accomplish The Goals
I set In 2018 which i should have done in 2017
because i made a promise in 2016 which i planned in 2015

If my sister know how famous I am on Facebook
She wouldn’t send me to buy cabbage at the market

Some breakups can make you steal your mom’s phone
and text your girlfriend.
“why are you doing this to my son”

Welcome to mzansi where Girls Hate their useless baby daddy
but Love another Girl’s useless baby daddy