When asked the similarities between

Woman 💃🏼
&
Alcohol 🥃

Shakespeare replied,

They both have the amazing quality of giving Pleasure at night and Headache in the morning !

Marriage is a workshop,
where the husband works and the wife shops

FATHER AND SON
A man followed his son to his
school’s end of the year party.
He saw other pupils being
awarded gifts for their
performance. His son did not
collect any.
MAN: God! Why do you give me
this kind of son? Are these not
children too? At least, they belong
to a parent too. Who will not be
happy to see his child perform
well like this?
The son heard this and was sad.
When they end the program they
walked out and wait for an Taxi
or Bus, while others are going
directly to their different cars.
SON: God! Why have you given me
this kind of father? Are these not
someone’s father, too. Who will
his father have an Air Conditioned
Jeep and will not be happy? See,
see them as they are enjoying!
The man heard this and gave the
son a dirty slap
MAN: silly boy, , dont you know
that if you study hard now, you
will buy a Jeep too?
SON: Dad, that means you did not
study hard when you are young.
Thats why you dont have car..

A girl returns home after
15 years!
Father : where
the hell have u been all
this years?*angry* Girl: I
was working as a
PROSTITUTE in the U.S.A.
Father: wtf?? Get out of
my house u whore, I dont
want to see your face
again
Girl: *cryn*, before I
go dad. I came to give u a
$5 million cheque, n here
is a $1million for my
brother. I had build a big
house for u in the
northern surburbs wit
evrything in it includin a
ferarri n a Bugatti. Bye
dad
Father: what kinda
work u said u where doin
*smilin*
Grl: a PROSTITUTE
dad*cryn out loud*
Father: Come n give daddy
a big hug, I thought u said
u where a ” PROTESTANT

There was this guy at a bar , just
looking at his drink . He stays like
that for half an hour,
Then, this big trouble-making
truck driver step next to him ,
takes the drink from the guy and
just drink it all, The poor man
started crying. The truck driver
says, “Come on man, i was just
joking. Here, I will buy you
another drink, i just can’t stand
to see a man cry.
“NO it is not that.This day is the
worst day of my life, first i fall
asleep and go late my office, my
boss outrageous fires me, when i
left my building to my car, i found
out it was stolen, the police said
they can do nothing . I got a cab
to return home, and when i left
it, i remembered i forgot my
wallet and credit cards there, the
cab driver just drove away.
I got home and found my wife in
bed with a gardener. I left home
to this bar, and when i was
thinking about putting an end to
my life, you showed up, UYANGIPHAPHELA and u
drink my poison…

A man calls a radio show during
dedication time.
Man:am calling to report abt a lost
n found item.
Presenter:Go on.
Man:I picked a wallet tht contains
a gold watch,50 k notes n an ID
wth a name Richard Onyango
Presenter:So, yu want me to help
you find the owner?
Man:No!I want to dedicate him
the song U SAVED ME by R. Kelly.

IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU WERE WANTED TO BE A NURSE OR DOCTOR….
NOW YOU HAVE 5CHILDREN
I GUEES YoU ARE STILL DOING YOUR DREAM JOB

Just this weather niggaz are busy texting girls….where are you? Can you come to my place or i must come and fetch you??
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Its all about tlof tlof

Dear ladies…
Call him today and tell him you are coming and
sleep over his place….
then switch off your phone and sleep
Make that idiot to clean his room..

Morning

I just bought DSTV dish,
they have installed it.
Now i need to go and pay tomorrow,
do i take the decoder and dish or
will they also need the remote??..