The day you will be ready to have a baby
,pampers will be R850.00
and Baby milk will be R1650.00
so it’s now or never

I tried all my best to convince this girl on facebook to visit me but she always told me that she was very busy. Her profile pictures were always tempting me and everything she did on social media was very good to me that i decided to take it to another level at my own experience …Hope you know what i mean. So at last i managed to take her number and i called her immediately to confirm if it was really her. We talked for a long time and later i discovered that she was living not far from my place. I then said to myself, “this is my opportunity which i have never had and never shall i have in future”. She promised me that she will visit me the following week Thursday. But that Thursday was too far to me. Thursday finally came, i called her around 7:30 just to confirm if she was indeed coming to my place. After she had confirmed that she was coming, i started putting everything inorder.I bought expensive perfumes, expensive food and 8 condoms. Around 9pm she knocked on my door. She was looking sooo sexy . . . I was more than happy after i saw how she was looking and ……….. My dear brothers and Sisters, see how you are serious reading this story. . ……. . I wish you can learn how to read your Bible like this….. . I bet ,God will like it and be happy other than reading a lot of stories which won’t help you. If it were a biblical message, you’d have stopped immediately. God bless you

It was Sol’s birthday when his wife decided to take him to a night club out of town. When they arrive, the bouncer said: “Aaah Sol my man, long time no see. Welcome.”
Wife: (surprised) Babes, how do you know this guy?
Sol: That’s my gym partner.
As they got in, the bartender said “aw Sol madoda, welcome back. Same stuff?”
Wife: (in aghast) how does he know that you drink Amstel?
Sol: He served us at Thabo’s birthday.
As they were sitting down a stripper approaches them and say: aaah Sol, can we have some fun like old times?
His wife got irritated and draged Sol out and calls up a cab, as they get in the driver said “you got an ugly one this time my friend, same Hotel?”
Wife faints

My wife was so sick today that
i had to carry her to the kitchen
so she could make me breakfast.

I’m looking for a single lady here inbox me
for more details I’m selling single beds

That Moment when you dream, Driving VW_golf7_vrrrphaa.
Then when you wake Up BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!
You pushing your SINGLE bed to the KITCHEN

NEVER say all he wanted was sex when all you offered was only sex
Have you ever tried to give him money and he refused it?!

*Here is the official letter that all men must send their female partner by the latest June 13, 2018*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sweetheart;

The FIFA World Cup begins on the 14th of June.

During this period I won’t have a lot of time for you. It’s not that I’m cheating or no longer wish to be with you, but I will have to make ever effort to watch every single match.

I will not be attending any social events such as, weddings, funerals, parties etc. during this period so plz *DO NOT ASK!!!.*

I know you see it as only 22 men chasing a ball but it’s absolutely important that you keep such thoughts to yourself and do not express them during this period….

Here are a few guidelines (I won’t call them rules although you know they are) to ensure a smooth and argument free month:

1. Plz don’t say it’s just a game because it’s not!

2. Plz limit or avoid walking during matches

3. The remote control remains with me all the time

4. You support the team I support. Not the team that has guys you think are cute

5. Kindly place your phone on silent

6. *Never, ever walk in front of the TV while am watching a match!*

7. World Cup is played by countries only so plz don’t ask me which team is Arsenal

8. Finally, highlights are considered as important as the match itself, so yes I must watch the highlights as well!!

Thanks in advance, I look forward to your cooperation and your utter silence.

Sincerely yours,

——————
signature & date

Wife: ( calling from the bath room in a very sweet and husky voice)

” Darling, I am in the bath room. ….have applied soap all over. …please come and rub . …properly with your strong hands….

.”Husband; ( reading newspaper…. jumps up with all happiness ….and tells his wife)

“Sweetheart…….I am coming”
(Reaches the bath room …sees his wife standing with a pile of clothes)

Wife: “listen, I have applied soap to the clothes…..now rub each of the clothes properly and wash them and hang them for drying…..I have enough work in the kitchen .” 😳😳

*Moral:*

*Mutual Fund Investments are subject to market risks, please read scheme related documents carefully, before investing.*

Wanna impress real men ??
Go to school …your curves mean nothing to us

Fat girls be like ” I HATE PIC FRAMES 😡”
but we all know you don’t fit in there dear

Sitting next to you doing nothing means
absolutely everything to me.

Smile! It’s the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
But I like the first one .