Kissing your bae in public is not a problem the problem start when make it sound like a car crash

The way my ex used To lie when we were daTing
IF she sent me a good morning massage
I Go outside and check iF iT really moRning

Doctor : what is your problem .
Patient: I have a bad headache with mary and 99 others

Tebza:Hi
Lebo:(last seen:12:02)
Tebza:I said hi
Lebo:(last seen:12:05)
Tebza:Are u ignoring me?
Lebo:(last seen:12:07)
Tebza:534509873236
Lebo:Which network?
Tebza:Cartoon network…

Her : bbe I Think um pregnant
Me : keep on thinking Tell me when you are pregnant.

Then she slap me whaT I have done can anyone Tell me !

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “Youre wrong, thats not the moon, thats the sun.” They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky thats shining. Is it the moon or the sun?” The third drunk looked at the sky and said, “Sorry, I dont live around here.”

When I’m thinking of stop drinking alcohol
BuT something reminds me that my parents didn’t raise a quieter!!!!

Its hard breaking up with someone who is a psychologist✋
–
Bruh u tell them “it’s over” and they will say:
“Bae☺, sit down,
let’s talk about this,
I can see that u have family issues,
Tell me about your childhood “

Being cheated on by the girl u love will humble you..,
You will find yourself asking your dog:
“Please tell me.. how do u treat your bitch?”

Even if God decided to call us in Heaven…
Some girls would ask him “Who Gave You My Number?

Mpendulo: Our teacher talks to herself does yours?

Rich:Yes, but she doesn’t realize it,
she thinks we’re actually listening!

During a class lesson the teacher ask Rich a question✔
–
Teacher: 1+1 is equal to?😐
–
Rich: 2 Madam😕
–
[ Class mates laugh and clapped their hands]
–
Rich quickly said: I’m kidding mam It’s 3😯
–
[Class died and the teacher fainted]

The awkward moment when you have crunchy food in a room full of silent people.

We have yet another set of Army Worms preparing to attack Men’s wallets and Bank accounts on the 14th of February. Advise from the Office of The Vice President Disaster Management and Mitigation Unit is for Men to use the strongest pesticide i.e Switching off your phones and change location._

A man and his wife came home drunk and went to sleep.
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So you scrolling for what cause I said they went to sleep.??
Do you want to wake them up?

*Ladies, If you play your man like a football,
another woman will catch him like a goalkeeper,
you will regret watching the highlights*