When you tell your friend to inbox your Bae just to test her loyalty and those mada fuckers end up having sex
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Drink alcohol , but please remember that next year ” SAME GRADE different Year
Married for 30year and
she hasn’t killed me yet
33 000 people diagonised with the deadly January disease , the number is expected to shoot up in the coming month
Symptoms of January disease –
1: unending fights between husband and wife / boyfriend and girlfriend
2: loss of weight
3: eating vegetables , bread and achaar, cabbage chicken feet and heads, everyday
4 : loss of craving for beer
5 : staying at home shuning your friends and telling them that you no longer drink beer
6 : blocking your smallhouse’s phone number
7 : stress
8 : being unable to count the number of days in January , counting 60 days instead of 31
9 : no sex with your patner
10 : borrowing groceries from the shops and tuckshops
11 : leaving your whatsapp group and selling your phone
If you have any of these symptoms my advise to you is next year spend the way you did this year
You spend a lot of money uyanya.
One day a wife tested the husband n write a letter says “honey I m gone sorry for wasting your tym go on with your life “,she put the letter on a table n hide under the bed .The husband comeback from work he read that …after he pretend as if he’s calling sum1” hi sweetie that stupid woman she gone for gud now let’s meet up on the bus stop to celebrate “he drop n take pen to write again on that letter and go out ,she come out under the bed ,she take that letter 2 see what did the husband wrote n she was angry she read…” Hey u stupid woman cum out …what r u doing under the bed I saw ur legs,I m out 2 buy bread make faster n cook for m don’t play lyk a child “
A Marriage without a side chic is like a
government without opposition party.
Let us not be dictators in our marriages,
allow democracy…
During church service, this 16-year old pastor’s daughter stood up and said: “Praise the Lord!” Everybody shouted with joy: “Hallelujah!!”. She continued:
“Since the age of 13, I’ve been experiencing painful monthly periods. But now, after a series of Bible studies and prayers with brother Solomon in his house, my monthly periods have stopped for more than 3 months now. No more pain, no more menstruation. You can see I’m even getting fatter and prettier. We are starting to pray seriously about the small problem of vomiting, especially in the morning. Praise the Lord”.
The whole church was silent… and
Brother Solomon fainted!!!
Part:sir will you punish me for what I did not do?
Teacher :No, of course not.
Part:I have not done my home work today
Be with someone who’s consistent in their efforts towards you. Someone who still checks up on you even though they’re busy. Someone who doesn’t make you feel unimportant. Don’t be with someone who’s hot and cold or sending mixed signals because they’re only giving you attention when they’re bored or have nothing else to do.
I’m a girl. I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I over think everything. I dream big. And when I say I love you, I’m not lying
I dont want to stay young forever
b’coz if I do, I won’t be having
my best dream which is to grow old with you.
Some people have to close their eyes to dream,
with you I only have to open mine.
*When you were born, your mother spent
hours giving birth to you; you thanked her by
crying every night in the middle of her sleep
*When you were 4; your mother bought you
ice- cream; you thanked her by dropping it
all over the floor
*When you were 6; your mother used to
drive you to school; you thanked her by
closing the car door and not even
looking back
*When you were 10; your mother paid for
music lessons; you thanked her for not even
bothering to practice
*When you were 12; your mother paid for
summer camp; you thanked her by not even
writing one single letter
*When you were 13; your mother took you
and your freinds to the movies; you thanked
her by asking her to sit on a different row
*When you were 15; your mother was
waiting for an important phone call; you
thanked her by being on the phone all day
*When you were 17; your mother cried on
your graduation day; you thanked her by
partying out with your freinds all night; and
not even phoning her to tell her that you are
okay
*When you were 18; your mother carried all
your bags and stuff to your college campus;
you thanked her by telling her to go away as
you was embarrassed in front of your friends
*When you were 20; you got married and
your mother cried of happiness on your
wedding; you thanked her by moving half way
across the country & not bothering to keep in
touch
*When you were 30; your mother was old
and asked you to take care of her you
thanked her by telling her that shes annoying
and old people should stop being such a
pressure on their children
*Then suddenly one day; your mother quitely
died; and everthing that you didn’t do came
rushing back and hit you like a crash of
thunder on your heart
Cherish and respect your mother while you
have the chance…
You will come to Cry when she is Gone. Others were not lucky enough to spend many years with their mothers.
Remember: we only have one mom.
Kindly press LIKE & write,”I LOVE U MOM” if
you are proud of her
I wish memories were like text messages.
You can delete the ones you hate
and keep the ones you like.
Stupid conversations make sense when you are talking to someone special.
I miss our long talks, your smile, your laugh,
your smell, your kisses and your hugs.
I wish I could have them back.