Girlfriend Is Like Internet Virus,
She Will Enter Your Life,
Scan Your Pocket,
Transfer Your Money,
Edit Your Mind,
Download Her Problems,
Delete Your Smile & Hang Your Life.
So Avoid Your Girlfriend & Send Her Number To Me Don’t Worry About Me,
I Am A Professional Anti Virus…
I heard that 3 girls in this group are planning to rape me..
*May their plan succeed in JESUS’ name
How to survive January
1) date a taxi driver for free ride to work
2) attend each and every funeral in your hood for a free plate
3) borrow meat from your neighbours and make soup and take it back
4) stay away from broke girls or niggas even he/she is your xondile
5) use one teabags at least 3× before you throw it away
6) use a taxi to work and save petrol
7) mix water with sugar to make a drink
8) try to use prostitutes for sexual needs to avoid imali yekhanda and unnecessary use of money
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.
The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
*Her husband*: The cat just died.
*She* (bursting into tears) : How could you be so blunt? Why couldn’t you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing.
By the way, how is my mom?
*Husband*: She is playing on the roof. !
ANSWER it if you are genius..!
A man and his wife have three sons,and every of the sons has
a sister.
How many are there in the family ?
A. 8
B. 10
C. 6
D. 12
WOMAN: My Husband is not interested in sex
DOCTOR: Okay, Give these pills to him.
Everyday,put one pill in his tea.
The woman did and they had sex which she really enjoyed.
Next day she thought to herself “It can only get better”
and puts two pills in his tea and they enjoyed more sex.
On the third day, she emptied the whole bottle in his tea.
Two days later doctor called to know the progress.
Their son answered, “My ass is very sore,
Mommy is in coma at the moment,
Aunty is in hospital, the maid is suing dad for rape and
daddy is still running naked in the garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!!Bingo!!!
Even the dogs are running for their lives.”
When you lock the door to kill a snake and electricity goes off my friend thats when you realize that the devil is using your life to test the new version of temple run.
A man can work for 10years with unemployed wife and still be happy, But a woman will work 5days and the whole community will know about the unemployed husband.
You’re in taxi and a person next to you has your bae as a wallpaper.
What would you do ?
Dont be a beggar of love, be a donor of love.
Beautiful people are not always good,
but good people are always beautiful.
Be a good person.
A good friend.
Live the life you want.
chase your dreams
In front of all the people here ,
I have to tell you that i am deeply in love with you..
You are my everything..
You are the reason that i wake up with a big smile kn mu face every morning♥️
God bless you my backbone
I want to travel the world with
two things on my hands.
Camera on my right and
HIS hand on my left.
Love makes you hold on to things you should not
but who are we to know any better?
A man married a beautiful girl. He loved her very much. One day she developed a skin disease. Slowly she started to lose her beauty. It so happened that one day her husband left for a tour. While returning he met with an accident and lost his eyesight. However their married life continued as usual. But as days passed she lost her beauty gradually. Blind husband did not know this and there was not any difference in their married life. He continued to love her and she also loved him very much.
One day she died. Her death brought him great sorrow.
He finished all her last rites and wanted to leave that town.
A man from behind called and said, now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you.
He replied, I am not blind. I was acting, because if she knew l could see her ugliness it would have pained her more than her disease. So I pretended to be blind. She was a very good wife. I only wanted to keep her happy.
Moral:- *Some times it is good for us to act blind and ignore one another’s short comings, in order to be happy*
*No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That’s the spirit of FORGIVENESS. Even though the eyes don’t see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together. That’s UNITY.” May the Lord grant us all the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness*.
1. _”Alone I can ‘Say’ but together we can ‘talk’._
2. _”Alone I can ‘Enjoy’ but together we can celebrate_
3. _’Alone I can ‘Smile’ but together we can ‘Laugh’._
*That’s the BEAUTY of Human Relations. We are nothing without each other*
STAY CONNECTED
*QUOTE OF THE DAY*
_The razor blade is sharp but can’t cut a tree; the axe is strong but can’t cut the hair._
*MORALS*; *Everyone is important according to his/her unique purpose,Never look down on anyone unless you are admiring their shoes*
I miss you, but i’m not going to text you first, because i want to see if you miss me more.
