The reason why we don’t trust people :
-We don’t know them.
-We know them.

Nyaa and Ngena ,2 children were sitting outside a clinic.
Ngena happened to be crying very loud,
“Why are you crying?” Nyaa asked.
“I came for a blood test.” sobbed Ngena
“So are you afraid?” asked Nya.
Ngena then replied,”For the blood test they have to cut my finger.”
As Nya heard this,he immidiately began crying profusely.
Astonished, Ngena asked Nyaa,”Why are you crying now?”
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Nya then replied,”I came for a urine test.”

Xolie was taking a nap on
Valentine’s Day afternoon.
After she awoke, she told her husband, (Nyaa)
“I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for
Valentine’s Day! What do you think it
means?”
“You’ll know tonight,”
Nyaa said.
That evening, Nyaa came home with a
small package for her. Thrilled, she
opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

Nyaa entered into a pub 4 drinks with other friends.
After 2 hours of drinking , the bill comes and it reads :
Mr Nyaa : $4,50
Ms Ngena : $4,50
Ms Xolie: 4,50
TOTAL : 1,350
when Nyaa saw the bill he turns to the barman and raises his voice ;
Haaaaa!! I will only pay for Ngena and Xolie as for Total , he will pay for himself coz we did not invite him after all he owns a lot of garages country wide

An airline introduced a special package for businessmen. Buy your ticket; get your wife’s ticket free. After a great success, the airline sent letters to all the wives asking how was the trip.
All of them gave the same reply, “WHICH TRIP?”

If you want someone to listen to you,
start the conversation with
“I shouldn’t be telling you this but..”

What’s worse than a heartbreak?
“ever cheated on a exam and still failed?

I thought I knew English until I heard my neighbour explaining the difference between Email and Gmail,
(1)Email – the mails which are sent using Electricity
(2)Gmail -the mails which are sent using a Generator

!!!!!!GONE TOO SOON!!!!!!
It is my great sympathy to inform u about the death of our beloved friend and well known gentleman called Mr. 2017 he survived with 12 wives(months), 52 children(weeks) and 365 grand children (days). funeral will take place on Sunday 31st December at 23 59 hrs for more information contact pastor January on phone number 01 01 2018 have a wonderful festive SEASON……….

What is love?
Love is when your husband catches you with another man naked and still say “honey, dress up, let’s go home
* What is death ?*
Death is when you follow him

SEX is the only Sport in the World without Refrees, no spectators as well and is never abandoned due to weather. Players are naked, scores are counted in terms of rounds. There are no winners or loosers. Each team enjoys, celebrates shouts and screams when they are ready to score and often go silent thereafter.
DO U HAVE A MATCH TODAY ?