Our Father😍
Who art in Valentine’s day💑🌸❤️
Hallow be thy dates💖💐
Thy Gifts and Kisses🌷🌼😘😍
Thy will be handed out💯❤️✅
As we watch pure sadness✋😚💔
Give us the luck💋💖💓👀☝️
Find the date’s before 14th👫💑😍
And forgive us for rejecting other kids🤗😇🤔
As we forgive those who shapa us with Stena💔💯🙅
Lead us not into single world✋🏃🛑❌
Deliver us from cheating💔💮💯😍✋🏃
For thy is the reason🙅🏃✋🙄🤔💛
Wr stay single forever and ever AMEN❤️💖👀💝
Why don’t Polish women breastfeed their babies?
Answer because it hurts so much when they boil their nipples
That awkward moment when you
get in the class late and everyone
looks at you 👀
Keep disrespecting your girlfriend like that,
one of these days she will remove her wig,
wash her make up
remove her nails
and talk to you man to man
Dear Microwave Manufacturers Isn’t Any Other Way That You Can Put A Silent Button on A Microwave Phela Our Parents Are Shouting On Us When We Braai Meat While We Comes Back From The Night Out.
Girlfriend Is Like Internet Virus,
She Will Enter Your Life,
Scan Your Pocket,
Transfer Your Money,
Edit Your Mind,
Download Her Problems,
Delete Your Smile & Hang Your Life.
So Avoid Your Girlfriend & Send Her Number To Me Don’t Worry About Me,
I Am A Professional Anti Virus…
WHO TO DATE?
1. If you want a romantic poor guy date a VENDA guy
2. If you want true love and someone who will rather have Aids with you than leave you,
date a Ndebele guy from Pretoria, Mams or Pheli
3. If you want a man with a big d*ck like a R25.00 wors n know how to use it then date Shangaan men.
4. If you want a man who does not mind spending money on you get a Tswana man from Rustenburg.
5. If you want your son to be a taxi driver/que marshall then date a Zulu guy.
6. If you want your son/daugter to be a good attorney and a good liar then surely date a Xhosa man.
7. If you want to be in an abusive relatioship dont hesitate the road is simple go to Eldos’ and date Coloured’s.
8. If you want to spend most of the times craving for sex and getting it once in three weeks, date any Mzalwane guy.
9. if you want to have a man with a high sex drive date a ZCC man
10. If you don’t want to run out of chili spices then surely date Indian men from Durban .
11. If you want your son to be stupid and expect the world not to notice it then date a Pedi guy from any place that starts with Ga-. (e.g. Ga-Maja)
12. If you want to spend lots of money in your life and being listed on ITC then date an Afrikaner
13. If you want to stay with the stolen goods date a zimbabwean boy
14. If you want to date the african mafia date Nigerian boy
15. If you want to stay with a man who will leave you the whole weekend and come back when you ask he only says ‘Angati’ .. Go for a Swazi guy
16. If you want a “vat en set” guy for life, date any guy driving golf in Gauteng, preferably Soweto, Alex and Tembisa
17. If you want to be married and stay in the back room at your hubby’s home date Mohlakeng, Carltonville mamelodi,pheli and Kagiso guy..
WHO ARE YOU DATING?
ITS NOT PERSONAL
Ultimate Thought Of Wiliam Sxfear 4 All Beautiful Grls.
Be Wid Sumone Who Spoils Ur Lipstick
Not Ur Eyeliner
A guy sends his girlfriend who lives in another town a
letter which reads:
” I am sorry, but I’m in love with a young, cute, beautiful, sexy,
adorable, intelligent and awesome lady,
so I want us to end our relationship.
Since I no longer love u , send back my photo”.
The girl sends him a reply in a return stamped
envelope containing 50 photos of different guys.
Her reply reads:.
“I don’t remember your face. So please select your photo and
send back the remaining ones, thanks”
You’re in taxi and a person next to you has your bae as a wallpaper.
What would you do ?
“In our neighbourhood there was a woman who used to steal a lot,she stole everything she came accross.
One day she got sick and went to the doctor,the doctor left her in his room for few minutes.as per her habits,she thought “What can i steal?”
Luckly there was meat on a tupperware on the table and she ate all of it,thinking it was BiltoN.
When the Doctor returned,he noticed that the tupperware was empty and asked her:”Didn’t u see the Foreskins of the boys I’ve just cut This Morning??
When you tell your friend to inbox your Bae just to test her loyalty and those mada fuckers end up having sex
Girls did you know that these boys when they inbox 📥 us it took a long process? They go through our Profile pics to check if we’re approachable, to check if we’re at the same level. After that they go to inbox and type📼 “Hi” n they stop for 2mins meditating🙀 if they can post it or not, they delete❌it and log out thinking if they can come up with good approach. After some few hours⌚ they consolidate✊ themselves n say now am going to talk to her, they log in n come straight to your acc n look at your pic for 3mins thinking, they cancel it and they go to check their notifications 🔔, they leave their Facebook online n do something for 15mins, they come back n notice that you’re online they log out again coz they think they’re being watched. They log in n check their notifications 🔔again for 30sec n they come back to ur acc n notice that you’ve logged out, they boost their confidence n they type “Hello Beautiful” n they stop for 3mins, they delete it instantly❌😏 n type “Hi” finally, and they log out quickly after sending it n Spend five hours without logging in coz they’re afraid you might have ignore them. At 19:30 they go to bath 🛀 after that they go straight to their beds n login in to Facebook, they’re now happy coz there’s two messages, they ignore it for 5mins n go straight to their notifications liking, commenting posts of their friends, after some 10mins they go straight to inbox n they found that you didn’t reply, they start to blame themselves maybe it’s because am ugly this n that so on and on they faint 💂😂😁. Guys am I wrong? 😊 Ladies keep it up we have dignity n we’re so precious. 👏
A couple both aged 37 went 2 a sex therapist’s office. The DR asked, what cn I do 4 u? The man said “will u watch us hv sex? The Dr looked puzzled but agreed. Wen de couple finished having intercourse the Dr said”there’s nothing wrong with de way u hv intercourse and charged them R250. This happened several weeks in a row, the couple cud make an appointment and hv intercourse with no problems,pay the Dr and leave. FINALLY the Dr asked”Just exactly what r u trying 2 find out?”. The man said”we r nt trying 2 find out anything. She’s is married and we cnt go 2 her house.I’m married so we can’t go 2 my house. At the guest house they charge R650, the hotel charges R800. We do it here for R250 and I claim it back frm Medical Aid!
To those who failed📖📃
Do u still remember…
.
“SIR IT’S NOT YOUR PERIOD”
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale,
sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
