Bae: Baby Can you take a bullet for me???
Me: My religion said I shud nt take what doesn’t belong to me.

Every girl is beautiful..
sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.

Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”

The man replies, “And how would you do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”

The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”

The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”

The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

My sister when your rent is due then; Boom!
Your sugar daddy dies. I swear you will cry
more than his wife

Little Nya: ‘Mum, today in the bus Dad asked me to give up a seat to a lady.’
Mother: “That was a great gesture son, thats what real gentlemen do”.
Nya: “…but mum I was sitting on Dad’s lap”

A couple received a letter from their daughter who
went to study modern physics overseas, the letter
read: “My beloved Parents, I miss you so much
and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I
get back you’ll be too old. So enclosed you’ll find a
bottle of potion I have invented. It will make you
young, so when I return you’ll be the same age as
I left you. NOTE: Please take only a drop” So they
opened the envelope and in it there is a bottle
with a red potion. the man looked at the wife and
says: “You go first.” (typical of men!) So the wife
takes a drop thereafter, the husband follows.
Indeed the wife turn five years younger. Years
later the daughter returns home to find her
mother young and pretty, carrying a baby on her
back. The mother proceeds to tell her daughter
how the potion worked and made her look young.
The daughter was delighted and asks after her
dad. MOTHER: Your father? Hmm, my child, your
father was so jealous that I was so young and
beautiful so he drank the whole bottle.
DAUGHTER: What? So where is he? MOTHER:
Hahaha, who do you think is the baby on my
back?

POLITE REMINDER

Anyone who wants to have a baby in 2018 tonight is the last night

Best Regards

Imagine Being Killed By A Disease 😓
That You Can’t Even Pronounce It Name

People Who Write “Thanks for accepting
my friend request” Have Been Through A
lot In Life.
There’s No Way You Can Be This Humble

Side chicks are young girls between the
ages of 16-22.So if you are 23yrs and
upwards dating a married man,my sister
you are a side hen,ostrich,peacock,turcky
and any other grown bird*

A person is a person but when he enters;
● In hospital he is called a patient
● In a taxi he is called a passenger
● At school he is a student.
● In stadium he is a fan
Question, what is that person called when he enters a toilet??