My Father says my Girlfriend is ugly but
when i look at my Mom
-aii let me drink some water!!

Do you still remember those awkward
moments in schools during Exams?
1. When a bright student tells the invigilator
that question 4 has a problem, but you have
already answered it…
2. When a fellow student asks for a graph
paper, but you are finished and did not see
anywhere where it was required…
3. When the invigilator says jump question 6
we will rectify it later, but it was the
question you enjoyed most when
answering…
4. When you see people busy using rulers
and you are wondering what is going on…
5. When you hear your friends arguing after
the exam whether the answer to question 5
was 35.5% or 36% and your answer was
-45000
6. When other students r bzy with a
caculator n u asking yoself “r we writing the
same paper
7. When you skip Q2 to Q3 coz you’re
clueless of what is required then Q3 ithi
“Use the answer found in Q2 to complete
this question”

Every village have this guy who always put
a speaker outdoors, plays loud music then
lock himself up inside the house.

Did u know that superman and supermarket are cousins

Teacher : “Who is the president of South Africa?”
Children : “Shaka Zulu.”
Teacher : “Correct, and the minister off defence?”
Children : “Benny McCArthy.”
Teacher : “Correct, what is the capital city of South Africa?”
Children : “Nkandla.”
Teacher : “Very good,
and who composed the national anthem?”
Children : “Black coffee and Dj Tira.”
Teacher : “Excellent, what do you call people from Moscow?”
Children : “Mosquitoes.”
Teacher : “Perfect, how much is 2 + 5?”
Children : “25”
Teacher : “That’s great, you’re going to be stupid like this until your government increases my salary!”

Girl : Baby can you speak Italian? Because you always watching their soccer.
Boy : Yeah I understand everything
Girl : mmmmmmmm can you speak a little so that I can hear you.
Boy : Neymer totti messi ancelotti pierro maldin di natale konti…
Girl : WOW and what does that mean?
Boy : In all the days, as long as Im breathing, you will remain in my heart.
Girl : Thank you Babe, I love you so much my guardian angel.
Boy : Balotelli
Girl : Whoa and what does that one mean???😘😘😘
Boy : I love you too…😎😎😎
Girl : Awwwwww..😍😍😍 oh how sweet..

You are dating a DJ
And you expect him not
To cheat,?
Someone that mix three songs
At the same time?
U need prayers my sister

Women who fall in love with rich married men or only date men who drive nice cars must never criticize prostitutes; they are in the same profession. The only difference is that they work in the private sector while prostitutes are in the public sector!

Man was updating his FB status when he received a kol 4m da police: “Sir, yo wife has died in a car crash, we need u to come and identify the body”. Man: “Im very busy ryt now, can you take a picture of her, tag me. If its her i will press LIKE”

How Can I Transfer Money that is in my mind to my bank account

Jack’s marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage. “Well,” his friend says, “you can always have an affair.” “I can’t do that! I will always be faithful to her.” the troubled man replies. “If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won’t be cheating.” The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement. “Honey,” his wife says, “that won’t help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it.”

That moment
You have visited your Rich relatives and they serve you 2 slices of bread,1 fried egg and a cup of coffee…. “Boom”…the child come and asks you :”Uncle, so are you going to finish all these?”. You end up saying “No,I won’t”… But deep down your heart,you say ” Voetsek, I finish a Loaf alone,what is this?”

Shout Out To Every Nigga Buying their Girlfriends iPhones & Samsung s8 on their Birthdays So They Can send us High Quality Nudes… We appreciate u

A female class teacher was
having a problem
with a boy in her class in Grade
3. The boy
said, “Madam, I should be in
Grade 4. I am
smarter than my sister and she’s
in Grade
4”. The Madam had heard
enough and took
the boy to the principal. The
principal
decided to test the boy with
some questions
from Grade 4.
PRINCIPAL: What is 3+3?
BOY: 6.
PRINCIPAL: 6+6.
BOY: 12.
The boy got all the questions
right. The
principal told the Madam to send
the boy to
Grade 4 immediately. The Madam
decided to
ask her own questions and the
principal
agreed.
MADAM: What does a cow have 4
of that I
have only 2?
BOY: Legs.
MADAM: What is in your trousers
that I don’t
have?
BOY: Pockets.
MADAM: What starts wit a C and
ends with T,
is hairy, oval, delicious and
contains thin,
whitish liquid?
BOY: Coconut.
MADAM: What goes in hard and
then comes
out soft and sticky?
*The principal’s eyes opened
really wide, but
before he could stop the answer,
the boy was taking charge*
BOY: Bubble gum.
MADAM: You stick your pole
inside me. You
tie me down to get me up, I get
wet before
you do.
BOY: Tent.
*The principal was looking
restless*
MADAM: A finger goes in me. You
fiddle with
me when you are bored. The
best man
always has me first?.
BOY: Wedding ring.
MADAM: I come in many sizes.
When I’m not
well, I Drip. When you blow me,
you feel
good?
BOY: Nose.
MADAM: I have a stiff shaft. My tip
penetrates, I come with a quiver.
BOY: Arrow.
PRINCIPAL: OMG.
MADAM: What starts with ‘F’ and
ends wit a
‘K’ and if you don’t get it, you
have to use
your hand?
BOY: Fork.
MADAM: What is it that all men
have, it’s
longer in some men than others,
the Pope
doesn’t use it and a man gives it
to his wife
after marriage?
BOY: Surname.
PRINCIPAL: Ohooo jeeees..!!!!!
MADAM: What part of the man
has no bone
but has muscles with a lot of
veins like
pumpkin and is responsible for
making
love?
BOY: Heart.
PRINCIPAL: Holy shi………..Eeeeeh!!..
The principal took a calm breath and
said to the Madam,
“Send this ”BLOODY BOY” to the
university…
Even I myself got all the questions wrong

Just saw my Ex liking a
traditional healer’s page that
brings back lost lovers in
24Hours. Please pray for me
guys – I can’t go back

You know how difficult to draw eyebrows .
And your boyfriend texts you “Babe am not coming ”
Don’t do that boiz