If you are asked to choose between Bill Gates’ money and World’s Peace, THEN
What will be the color of your Lamborghini?

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …
Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”.
Lady : I can’t see your computer..
Help-desk : No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer.
Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!
Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it.
Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

IMAGINE YOU TAKING YOUR TALL GIRL TO THE ZOO,,
THEN GIRAFFE START CRUSHING ON HER
AYEYE!!!

1st patient: doctor iqolo lami is very painful. I came home early today, i could swear i heard a man’s voice 4m my house bt wen i entered it was only my wife. I searchd evrywher bt saw nothing. When i went to the balcony i saw a man downstairs ephuma eflatini runing very fast and stil dresing up! I took the fridge and threw it at him and i hurt my back. 20 mins later 2nd patient came with bruises all over his head: Doc, i was very late for an interview. I left the flat runing and stil butoning my trousers coz i was late when a fridge 4m nowhere hit me on the head, thats how i got to be like this. 15 mins later 3rd patient came in, with severe bruises all over his body, worse than the 1st patient: Doc, i was sitting in a fridge when someone threw it 4m da balcony from 5th floor, thats how i got hurt…

If I meet the shopkeeper in the neighborhood today, I’ll finish with him.
Last night, I went to buy condoms, he tells me it’s finished. This morning, when my wife went to buy bread, he told her to tell me that the condoms I was looking for are now available. What is the professional secret of a shopkeeper?

*If you have $2 and your wife has $98. The total money of the entire house is $2 (not $100).*

*If you understand this maths you will have peace in your home.*
*Are we clear?*

What is the difference between an Ordinary Thief (OT) & a Political Thief (PT) ?

1.The Ordinary Thief steals your Money, bag, watch, gold chain etc.
But, The Political Thief steals your future, career, education, health & business !

2. The hilarious part is :
The Ordinary Thief will choose whom to rob. But, you yourself choose the Political Thief to rob you.

3. The most ironic one :
Police will chase and nab the Ordinary Thief. But, Police will look after and protect the Political Thief !
That’s the travesty cum irony of our current society!

And, we blindly say we are not blind !

I was in a job interview today (for a ‘Sales Post’) when the interviewing manager gave me his laptop and said “I want you to try and sell this to me”.So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said “Bring it back here, right now”.I said “$200, and it’s yours”.

There’s some idiots who always reply no to every question
I ask on this page
Now tell me ” are you one of them “

Nothing is as painful than being phoned
by your crush telling you to check your wall
& respond but you can’t tell her you’re on
free mode

I saw a Xhosa lady wearing a ring on
the wrong finger and I asked her why?
She said it is because she married a wrong
man.

She Was My Crush Until She Said “Opposite
Of Minimum Is MiniDad”.
Yaz South Africa Mara!!?.

Don’t be a boring girlfriend my
sister.Sometimes take his phone and delete
all female contacts and wait for a fight.

A man walks into a restaurant and wants
to order a chicken,but unfortunately he
can’t remember what *chicken* is called in
*English*. The waiter who wants to take
his order is only English proficient. So the
Zulu man seeing the guy at the table next
to him with a plate with *4 boiled eggs*
on it. He points to the plate of eggs and
says to the English proficient “Arrange me
their mother”

Wife is busy packing her clothes
Husband : where are you going?
Wife : I’m moving to my mother
Husband also start packing
Wife : Where are you going?
Husband : I’m also moving to my mother
Wife : And what about the kids?
Husband : Well if you are moving to your
mother and I’m also moving to my
mother….then I guess they must also move
to their mother
Wife fainted

Some girls have never seen the doors of a gym
but they are physically fit from running
from one man to another

RULES AND REGULATION FOR MY FUTURE WIFE
1. My future wife is not allowed to have more than 3 male friends: Me, her dad and her brother (if you have two brother
you better pick your favourite)
2. My future wife is not allowed to pray silently. I wanna know
what’s going on between you and Jesus.
3. If my future wife wants to comment on any guy’s post we
must first discuss about it.
4. My future wife is not allowed to work.. Cause being with me is a full time job”
5. My future wife is not allowed to hide her phone from me. As
long as we’re together it’s not an iPhone it’s a “wePhone”.
6. My future wife is not allowed to sleep unless I’m watching
her. If she laughs in her sleep I’m coming into her dreams to see what’s so funny…
I am caring. Right?