That moment when a short guy compliments u and say
your hair smells nice and u start wondering
which hair is he talking about

That awkward moment u realise u a walking in the wrong direction…
so you hit your pockets and pretend u forgot something

My girlfriend just texted me “Im coming by your
place,and when I get there I want you to make
me wet”
I got 5 buckets full of water….she’ll know me

Those of you that come to Facebook to correct people’s grammar you think you know engish neh?what is the past tense of bread?.

When I was a kid…

1.Pussy meant a cat.

2.Sex meant a gender.

3.B**ch was a female dog.

4.Dick was name of a cartoon film.

5.Bang was a sound.

6.Rubber was a nothing but an

eraser.

7.Balls meant a round toy.

8.Cock was a rooster.

9.Round was a circular shape.

10.Boot was a type of a shoe.

Growing up corrupted my mind. *sad*

My boss just e-mailed me, “Send me one of your funny jokes Jack.”

I replied, “I’m working at the moment, I will send you one later.”
He replied, “That was fantastic and really funny, send me another one.

They have parked their bags, went back to work after spending the weekend buying you alcohol, none of them is offering to take your CV with and submit just incase something comes up at their work place or to just edit your CV for you.
And you go around telling people how good your friends are??

You find two people in a happy relationship and yet
you still want to get between them. Are you a g-string?

That moment when a child hits you in front of her mom,
and you can’t do anything you just be like
” yeeeey wena nana yeeeey ”
with that fake smile wishing her mom wasn’t around

Remember back when you were a kid and you
thought your 25 year old unemployed cousin
wasn’t serious about life? Look at you now!😭😭😂

The only time where you’ll see a person
who has a gold/silver tooth closing their
mouth, is during a thunderstorm

MY FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH VIRGIN A GIRL.
She was wearing a light Pinky Silky dress
more like to be transparent but i tried to
look hoping i will see something but i
couldn’t the breast well shaped and
tempting Hello as i great her while was
standing outside the door, HI Xigombe She
replied. Her voice was Like The voice of an
angel I called her in and as she walked
inside i was at the door so i could see her
back, everything was well packed.you know
what a dress can do, everything just went
wrong i could feel my trouser expanding. As
she looked back i just put my hand on the
pocket and bend backwardly not to be
embarrassed unfortunately she Has seen it
already she just smiled not saying a word. I
requested her to seat on the bed then she
requested at least a music, she said she
hated silence I decided to be romantic and
play music like Benny Mayengani songs i
downloaded them that very same day early
on. She told me to stop it and try something
deep, i didnt know that she want deep
house music when she said something
deep. Imagine with the girl you’ve been
wishing playing deep house while you are
only two in the room with that dim light,
hope you get it?Then came my stuff i started
her with some internationally deep house
music, We started listening to music having
some talks while seating on the bed,
complementing her. I could see that she is
enjoying the music she was moving that
head smoothly same pase with one leg. We
had some talks then around 10pm she was
tired of seating she asked if she can just
sleep. I agreed Then she moved back to the
wall as i was busy removing her shoes out. I
went straight to her laid close to her i
turned looked straight into her eyes then
we both stopped talking like we were
paused by a remote. I saw her taking a
tongue out wiping those lips and i told my
self that its about time be a man i moved
again very very close to her and the space
between was just some few inches now,
she didn’t say anything and no one was
talking by the time after some few seconds
of looking each other i decided to take
action, as i take my hand to her chin so that
i can bring her close then she called my
name and I was very scared that she want
to tell me to stop whatever am doing only to
find out that she want me to remove her
earrings. I started to remove them gentle so
and when i was on the last ear after
removing it my hand never come back i took
it slowly so to the back of her neck then try
to pull her closer and closer, she never said
anything but my brothers and sisters if the
way you’ve been concentrating on this story
was the way you concentrate when you
read the word of GOD(BIBLE)once in a blue
moon the world would have been a great
place to live.
Can I Get An Amen?.

Remember growing up saying “I want to
be a pilot”.
20 years later the only thing you do related
to airplanes is FLIGHT MODE on your phone.

The way 2000 kiddies are getting
pregnant,condoms should be part
of stationery.