What do you call a group of people where two people are thinking of Love
& all other are thinking of food? . . . . . . . .
WEDDING

Men will be Men:

Wife leaves a note on the fridge: “I have made all attempts. It’s not working.
I can’t take it anymore. I am going to stay at my Mom’s place !! 😡😥

Husband opens the fridge, checks the beer bottle. Feels it is cold. He takes a few big gulps from the bottle. Feels it is chilled. Then says to himself, “What the hell is she talking about???

Fridge is working fine!!”

In an investment seminar a man saw a beautiful lady and fell in love instantly. He proposed to her. However, being a financial planning expert, she asked him about his background….
He said – “..well, I am an ordinary man today, but in a few months, after my ailing father dies, I will inherit a Rs 300 crore property …😊”

The lady was deeply impressed …and they exchanged their business cards…

…and within a month
the lady walked into his house as his step mother…😜

Moral: Investment is subject to market risks…👉😢
Do NOT sell your dream to others before it becomes a reality

You’re so hot, you must be the cause for global warming

If you are a ‘Side chick’ you not
Allowed to send texts Like:
“Hey Honey can I come and
visit you?”
•°•°•
You send texts Like: “Hello
Coach, Is there Any Practice
Today?”

Sleeping next to your new Bae for the first time is tough…
you have to breathe in English ..
.not too loud, not too deep and not too fast..

Job interview for a security guard

Interviewer: “Can u speak English”
Job seeker: “Will the thieves be from England

Being a first born is not easy….
Automatically u become a deputy parent

Guys I don’t like to argue😕

I dumped her because she said they say: “All rights in court”😐 and i told her they say: “All rice in court”…She disagreed with me😑…so i can’t continue with a fool

Convo between Rich and His Girlfriend

Girl: “Hi”😶
Rich: “hi babe”😊☺☺
Girl: “Babe I’m worried”😯
Girl: “I’ve missed my period”😨😨😨
Girl: “I think I’m pregnant”🙆
Girl: “are u there?”😦
Girl: “Babe u not answering my calls”😡
Girl: “Rich!!!”
Girl: “stop ignoring me, speak!!!”😭😭😭

[2 minutes later]

Rich: “The owner of this phone is dead just died in an accident, This Mr Lantjie”😡

Girl: “Don’t go there at all, this is your handwriting”😠

Rich: “No its not me, I’m really dead”

Parents Please take your children to Sunday School😒

A teacher came to class and asked a question😕

Teacher: “who killed Goliath”😐
Bill: “Its not me”😐
Steve: “I don’t know”😯
Rich: “I wasn’t at school that day”😩

The teacher went to the Headmaster’s office and told the Headmaster that students in his class don’t know who killed Goliath😟

The HM came to that class and asked…

HM: “who killed Goliath”😕
Class: “We are not the ones”😐
HM: “If u don’t tell me who killed Goliath…you’ll see fire today”😡
Class: “we don’t know”😨

The Headmaster turned to the teacher and asked: “Are you sure Goliath was killed by someone from this class??”😞

[The teacher fainted]

After a terrible accident Bill was crying😭😭😭

Bill: “Oh God i have lost my letf hand”😨😨😨

Rich: “Control yourself my friend! Stop crying!😕 see that man laying over there, he has lost his head😒, is he crying?”

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Me at school-I will finish this at home
Me at home-I will finish this at school

after she caught me cheating
Me : so you gonna believe your eyes over me???

if you’re a dude & u go through your girl’s phone
while she not around, congratulations.
You’re a girl in a lesbian relationship.