I always try to cheer myself up by singing
when I’m sad. Most of the time,
it turns out that my voice is worse
than my problems.
–

Dear Alcohol
We had a deal where you would make me funnier,
smarter and a better dancer……..
I saw the video of myself……. We need to talk.

Why can’t Satan just swallow his pride and
go and apologise to God so that we can
go back to the Garden of Eden and
stay naked coz clothes are too expensive.

*Lady 1:*
My husband has swallowed a Paracetamol by mistake,

what shall I do now ?

.

.

.

*Lady 2:*
Give him some headache now,

why waste the medicine

_*A SINCERE APOLOGY:*_

_A man received this message from his neighbor_…
_”Sorry sir_, _I have been using your wife day and night when you are not at home, in fact_, _much more than you do_.
_I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty_. _Hope you will accept my sincere apologies_.” _I will pay if you wish to charge service fee_

Immediately after reading the message, the man shot his wife dead.

A few minutes later, he received another message:
“Sorry sir, a spelling mistake…
I meant _*WiFi*_ not ~Wife~.”

Patience is a Virtue.

What do you call the security
outside Samsung Galaxy shop??
–
Guardians of the Galaxy

Wife hit her husband (Rich) with her frying pan

Rich: “what was that for…?”😡

Wife: “I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it”😠

Rich: “I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse”😐

Wife: “Oh sorry”😢

(Next day wife hit him with her frying pan again)😐

Rich: “What now…?”😩

Wife: “Your horse is on the phone

I don’t trust girls who visit me with Large Handbags.
I once lost a Fridge,
Washing Machine and my brother

The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:

– The tender one
– The amazing one
– Lady of my dreams

She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother. Then she called the second number on which his sister replied . When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!

She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole months salary to make up for it.

Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as “Ghafoor mechanic”

knock knock
😒: Who’s there
😂:Coca cola
😒:Coca cola who?
😂:Coca cola lang sana Ang Yung minahal di ka muling mag iisa ,di kana mangangaylangan pang humanap ng iba.🎶🎵
Ps:Nakita ko lang sa PROFOUNDLY

Schools are so expensive now.
My kid will learn everything from Takalani Sesame

Dating a married man is fun until
you realise he saved your number as engine oil

Where did you buy your phone from?😕
Me: Nandos😉
N.B: correct answers not allowed

Some pics they look like they captured them with CCTV camera

In Limpopo you have approximately 10 seconds
to eat your ice cream and finish it or else you drink it

Ladies you must always get married to
older men than you so that
when you lose your beauty,
he is also losing his eyesight.
–
Are we together ladies??