A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

“Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very closely:

“Are – my – test – results – back?”

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Our kids are in trouble 😳😳😳… Nigerian volunteer teachers coming

How Nigerians pronounce English words:

1. Diz hwan – This one
2. Ozzband – Husband
3. Gugu – Google
4. Broader – brother
5. Con son- concern
6. Save johnny – safe journey
7. Order shy knees – other Chinese
8. Lukatit – look at it
9. More door – mother

Lastly…….most hilarious!!!!

10. Salt of free car – South Africa!!!!

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That awkward moment
when the teacher tells you to read out loud …
And you don’t even know what page they’re on

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A fat man saw an advertisement: “Lose 5Kg In A Week”⚠

He called and said: “I would like to join”😕

The girl said: “ok, be ready tomorrow at 6 am”😐

The next morning he got to the office and was taken to a room …he opened the door and found a hot babe wearing only shirt and pant😋

She said: “If you can catch me…you can sleep with me!”😉… the man started running after her but couldn’t catch her😩…During the whole week he tried to catchher but he couldn’t and he lost 5 Kg…

He then asked for the 10Kg program…The next morning at 6 am, he opened the door and found hotter babe wearing a bikini👙…she said: “If you can catch me, you will sleep with me…” He lost 10Kg that week…

So he thought that this program was awesome…He then requested for a 25kg program…The girl asked: “Are u sure??…it is really tough!!”😐

The man said: “Why not?”💪

The next day he opened the door expecting to see a naked girl but found a naked man who said: “If i catch you, i will sleep with you!”😀

That week the man lost 40Kg

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She updated her profile pic and her mother commented:
“whose clothes are those??

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Being ugly is not easy…
Sometimes when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror
you end up saying: “maybe it’s not me”

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Cuddling is for the rich.
No woman want to place her head on a broke man’s chest,
when the heart is beating “Debt debt debt”

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Being Popular on Facebook is like
sitting at the coolest table in cafeteria
at a Mental hospital function

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Rich in class

Teacher: “If i lay one egg today and tomorrow i lay four…how many eggs will be there be?”😕

Rich: “None”😑

Teacher: [suprised] “why not??”😨

Rich: “Because u can’t lay eggs”

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An African woman married a Chinese man and had a child…

Two months later the child passed away😢

At the funeral house, the African woman kept crying and saying: “I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!..”😭

A family member pulled her aside and asked: “what did u know?”😨

She replied: “That Chinese Products don’t LAST LONG!!!”

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Funny guys are dangerous😂😂

They’ll make you laugh and laugh and laugh….

Then boom you’re naked

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If you’re a single lady and you’re reading this…

Congratulations you now have a boyfriend😉

Hello “Bae”

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Do you remember when you & your ex said
you’re going to love each other forever?

*IDIOTS*

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No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference btwn the two words “COMPLETE” and “FINISHED”. Some people say there is no difference between ​”COMPLETE” and “FINISHED​”, but there is. When ​you marry​ the right woman you are ​COMPLETE​ and when you ​marry​ the ​wrong woman,​ you are ​FINISHED!​ When your wife ​catches​ you with ​another woman​ you are ​COMPLETELY FINISHED​ and when your ​wife​ likes ​shopping​ so much you are ​FINISHED COMPLETELY!​
Knowledge will kill me

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A teacher’s letter to a parent:

“Dear Parent, Jabu your son, doesn’t smell nice in school. Kindly encourage him to take his bath.”

Parent replies:
“Dear Teacher, Jabu is not a rose flower. Don’t smell him, just teach him! Thank you.”

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