Scientists have discovered a new muscle in the human body called paraphalix Engina. It is the longest muscle ever discovered in living mammals. It connects the eye lid to the anus. *That is why the anus opens when you blink.* Now look at this idiot trying to blink to see if it’s true. I couldnt accept to be the only idiot. Come and beat me if u want.

I went for a job interview today when I entered the 1st question was “wait please” I answered “65kgs”. They were so happy they all laughed and told me to go back home they’ll call me soon.*

*I’m now ironing my clothes they myt call me early morning tomorrow, guys pray for me.*

*IT’S HARD TO BE A TEACHER AT TIMES.*..

*Teacher:* ”Construct a sentence containing the word “sugar”
*Pupil:* ”I was drinking tea this morning.”
*Teacher:* ”Where is the word sugar.”
*Pupil:* ”It is already in the tea..!!”

a son argued with his father insisting that 1+1=11…

The father looked at him and said: “Go and buy 2 boiled eggs”

The son went and returned with the 2 eggs…

The father said give one to me and one to your brother .. and the son asks: “what about me?”😕

The father responds: “Eat the remaining nine eggs that are letf….Nonsense!!”

Rich who was happy that his wife had given birth ran to the hospital….🏃🏃🏃

Doctor: “congratulations sir! Your wife has given birth to Triplet”😊

Rich: “Thanks Doctor but why did you and
my wife name the baby without my consent?

Real Men do one round and sleep peacefully
but these jobless guys will hit it all night
as if they’re releasing poverty

When I die please don’t let people come see me
in the coffin coz am shy I’ll end up laughing

I used to say” when I grow up I want to have beautiful kids”
until my mother said “i used to say the same thing but look at you”

Black parents will let u freeze in bed with
one blanket coz
the other blankets are for visitors.

Bae this, Bae that ,Bae here, Bae there
the day you’ll be dumped please
call a Press conference we deserve to know. .

If he always get home at 04:00am or 05:30am never ever call him your boyfriend or husband but an alarm⏰.
My sister even if you poison that idiot😂
God will understand!!!!!!!!

Good morning!!!!

When you see cockroaches in your house
just know you have food.
Cockroaches are like slay queens
they don’t like poverty

If your boyfriend/girlfriend or hubby/wife trust you……
believe me you are ugly.

Lets not argue on this

A Touching Story

Girl: (touches the boy)
Boy: (touches the girl)
Girl: (Touches the boy again)

😭😢😢 What a touching Story

At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace.
*The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor*.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom’s men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
*The woman replied, “I can’t hear from the back.*”

1.Wife : “why r u home so early?”�

Hubby :
“My boss said go to hell!”

2.Doctor : Howz ur headache ?
Patient : she’s out of town

3. Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

4.No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in neighborhood

5.Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

6.Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

7.It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

8.Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

9.Q- You know why women love shoes?
A- Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit..

10. Q- Why can’t Women Drive well?
A- Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

11.Q- Why can’t Women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no Shopping Centers..

12.Q- How to save a Dying Woman?
A- Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

13.Q- If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
A- Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..

14.The woman who invented the phrase “All men
are the same” was a Chinese woman who lost
her husband in a crowd.

15.There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have
girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what
happened=))�

16.Wives are
magicians. ….. . . . . . . . . . . They
can change anything into an
argument

17.Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY? A very INTELLIGENT man
replied: Women don’t have a wife!
True or false?