No machine cleans a room faster than a Guy expecting a girl

I don’t take someone’s boyfriend 🤔 I take a boyfriend who will always say he loves me 🤗 when I look at his left hand, I don’t see a ring 💍 when I look at his face 🙄 I don’t see Someone’s name 🗣️ so what do you say I took your man, please bring the album of your wedding pictures please 👏

While you are sleeping at your bae’s house and you hear your grandmother saying ′′ your house is going to get a monkey

Day 3 of quarantine, I met some lady in my house named mom..
she’s kinda loud

I just saw on fb that the children born 9 months from now will be know as the ‘children of the quarn’ and I can’t stop giggling

This lockdown made me stay home and spend time with my family in the dinning room.. They’re actually quite and nice I didn’t even know my sister has a child

Feels like it’s going to be a boring day, so I’ll entertain myself by nyising sons and daughters of African false prophets. Nothing makes me happy than seeing them catching feelings 😾

A woman can block U, delete ur numbers and still expect U to contact her somehow. Don’t ask me how. They just have this madness 😂

“Before Posting A Conspiracy Theory. Atleast Post Your Matric Results With Symbols. Imagine Failing Maths Lit Then Suddenly You’re A 5G Expert”

Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired – you must register a new one.”
“roses”
“Sorry, too few characters.”
“pretty roses”
“Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character.”
“1 pretty rose”
“Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.”
“1prettyrose”
“Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters.”
“1f***ingprettyrose”
“Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character.”
“1FU**INGprettyrose”
“Sorry, you cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.”
“1F***ingPrettyRose”
“Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters.”
“1F***ingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourA**IfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessRightF***ingNow!”
“Sorry, you cannot use punctuation.”
“1F***ingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourA**IfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightF***ingNow”
“Sorry, that password is already in use.”

Feelings are just like Visitors they
Come and Go.

Black Label 5% alcohol, sanitizer 70% alcohol…

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? 🤔

Ladies, when you are hurt does removing your whatsapp profile picture make you feel better? 🤔

The number of girls👩 some men👨 promised to marry but never did,
is enough start “GIRLS SECONDARY SCHOOL😕

Next time when they shout “something big is coming your way in 2020” don’t just shout “I receive!!”.
First ask “what is that?”

So technically showing up at the bank
in a mask and gloves is ok now.🤔😆😂