I waved to a man because I thought he waved at me. Apparently he waved to an other woman. So to get out of the awkward situation I kept my hand up and a taxi pulled over and drove me to the airport. Am now in Poland starting a new life.

My girlfriend stole money from her Father for me to start a business. The business is booming now.

Now she want me to marry her.

ME: I can’t marry a thief

I will never watch a Nigerian movie again
how can a ghost wear a face mask?

I think, I’m going to lose my drivers
license…
and all just because of a stupid
police officer…
The conversation went like this,
when I got pulled over in my car:
Officer: “License and registration,
please, I think you are drunk!”
Me: “I assure you, I did not drink
anything.”
Officer: “Ok, let’s do a little test!
Imagine driving in the dark on a
highway at night, when you see two
lights in the distance. What is this?”
Me: “A car.”
Officer:”Of course! But which one? A
Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?”
Me:”I have no idea!”
Officer:”So, you’re drunk.”
Me:”But I didn’t drink anything.”
Officer:”Okay, one more test —
Imagine, you drive in the dark on a
highway at night, and there is one
light coming at you.What is it?
Me:”A motorcycle.”
Officer:”Of course! But which one? A
Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?”
Me:”I have no idea!”
Officer:”As I suspected, you’re drunk!”
Then I started to get annoyed and
asked a counter question.
Me:”So…, counter question — You’re
driving in the dark on a highway at
night and see a woman on the
roadside. She wears a mini skirt,
fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes
and only a bra as a top. What is this?”
Officer:”A prostitute of course.”
Me:”Yes, but which one? Your
daughter, your wife or your mother?”
Things went downhill from there and
now I have a court date to attend…

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. I don’t understand the sudden change of heart, but who am I to ask. I’m so lucky…
I mean, first I won the lottery and now this!

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Certainly not! There’s no proof of it.
Boss: Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral, he came here looking for you.

what is the opposite of Transparent

👶Transchildren

Have you been so close to someone
but you were never in a relationship and
when both stopped talking,
it felt like a breakup?

When your heart is healed and you hear him say ′′ hey you!”

Don’t play with a girl’s heart!
She’s got only one.
Always try to play with her t**s!
she’s got two of those😏

I sold you a stove worth R7500 at R500 and you are complaining that the stove is shocking you…
.
So the price didn’t shock you?

We are too old for cheating, just sit down with her and
tell her you want a 2nd girlfriend

We were so poor! My dad kept saying that someone has shot Santa.
I never got any presents.

Already drank 2 bottle of vinegar and salt but nothing happened or should I continue to drink more.🙄🙄coz don’t know what u guys are talking about

If 2 witches
watched 2
watches,which
witch watched
which watch?

People who are online without the Green Dot are
More dangerous than Electricity