Pls am very sorry for not updating regularly
this days, it’s because my iPhone 6 had a
problem and my iPad battery is dead, my sister is with
my Samsung galaxy note 4. Am just here at home
sitting alone since my parents travelled to
London. I would have loved to Skype with you but I
misplaced my Apple laptop power pack, so I have to hit
south Africa to get a new one. I wanted to visit the
mall tonight but my aunt went out with my bugatti
and my junior brother is out with the 2014 range
rover, the Toyota highlander had a little problem, the
tyre of Honda CRV is flat and I hate driving Lexus jeep
at night, I tried calling our driver to come and
pick me with my mums Ferrari but I don’t have any
credit , so can you please send me Load
so that I can call him plz?

We the National Association of Husbands
And Boyfriends’ (NAHAB), wish to announce
our annual 3 days strike which will commence
on 13 FEB and end on 16 FEB.
Please note; our cellphones will not
be working during the strike & our
relationship commitments will commence
on the 17 FEB, we apologise for any
inconvenience to our wives & girlfrends
who were hoping to be with us on valentines day.

So, wats yo response? Is it:
(a) Viva NAHAB viva!!!! or
(b)

An Israeli doctor says: “In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work.”

The German doctor says: “That’s nothing,
in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work.”

The Russian doctor says: “Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.”

The American doctor laughs: “You all are behind us. Two days ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no liver and made him President.

Now, the whole country is looking for work!”

Welcome to South Africa where :

1. Bathrooms have became photoshoot Studios.
2. Where young girls call old men enough to be
their fathers…”Baby,My Blesser,My Honey,My
Love…Sweety.
3. Where Beer is more important than Water.
4. Where sex is free but Love is Costly.
5. Where crime and rape is high than Education.
6. Where people wear expensive clothes but their
Bedroom Doors,kitchen Units and Wardrobes are
falling apart.
7. Where nowadays Ladies fear for pregnancy
than Aids.
8. Where funerals turned into a platform for
fashion,style and parties.
9. Where young girls look forward to putting their
signatures on the Social Grants than Job
Contracts.
10. Where Pizza Deliveries are faster than an
Emergency Response.
11. Where buying a car is a great achievement
than buying a House.
12. Where loosing a phone is more painful than
loosing your Virginity.
13. Where Churchs are turning into Dating
Points.
14. Where Parliament is turned into Circus.
15. Where Pubs,Clubs and Taverns are more
important than School.
16. Where getting a Smart Phone is greater than
achieving a Degree.
17. Where Abortion Pains are a way painful than
period pains.
18. Where you kill an animal like Rhino you get a
Life Sentence in Prison,But when you Kill a
Human Being you get 6 years in prison.
19. Where beautiful girls are getting 100+Likes
on social networks everyday,but the Ugly ones
are getting degrees and getting married every
Saturdays.

Since my girlfriend gave birth, everything in my life has changed including my name, adress, cellphone number, back account everything.

In Order to have a Girlfriend Nowadays

My Brother You Must Be Alright
Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, Kissically
Motorcally, and Walletically….

I saved my girlfriend contact with her real name on my phonebook but usually when i pick her call i say ‘hi love…’ So yesterday i ran out of airtym while talking to her, so i had to use my friend’s phone to call her without him noticing. when i dialed her number on his phone, it displayed “MY LOVE…” So i was wondering how that smartphone knew i was calling her. iphones are really smart. I’m really considering getting one

No1:
A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife’s nipples while she was asleep. The next day their driver died of poisoning.

No 2:
A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked his Dad why. He answered, “so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.”

No 3:
A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said “sir. you are my witness you know I never wear panties!”

No 4:
Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them. Son says: “What are you doing?” Ask the son. Father: “I’m putting petrol in your Mom.” Son: ” Which means Mom’s engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr. Zwane just put some in yesterday!” Mother fainted!!!

No 5:
A man went to the pub with his wife. When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered, “You must DEMAND cash before sex, I know him he doesn’t pay.

No 6:
An 8 year old boy is accused of rape. In court his lady lawyer holds his dick out as evidence saying, “Your Honour see this, can he rape* with this tiny tot?”The boy whispers, “Don’t shake it, we’ll lose the case!”

There is a lesbian struggling with heavy groceries infront of me, do I help her or let her be the man she’s trying to be?