That moment when you come to your bae wearing panties with laces, and he just takes it off together with your jeans and throws them away behind the bed not bothering looking at it.

Ex:why you don’t answer your phone??
Me:cos I lost my memory card

Am sure on Valentine’s day

i wl only get a message from Cell C reminding me to pay them the $10 airtime that I owe them.

Shoutout to my school teacher who said
I’m going to end up being a taxi conductor…
Tomorrow’s my 1st day

Her: bbe im wet
Me : do u need a tissue
Her: im so wet i need something round and big
Me: eh you need the whole roll of tissue

Look, i’m not saying that I’m Spiderman
but so far nobody has seen me in the same room
with him so how can u tell that i’m not spiderman??

I texted my ex-girl “Hi” she immediately updated her Facebook status:
“I’m doing fine without u”😐
And yet i wanted to say:
” I met your dad👳 in town wearing my jacket”

A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day , she went to him and said, Hi. I’m Jada. He said, Hi. I’m Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home’s WIFI doesn’t have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend!

Hey guyz….anyone with those long messages which when you forward to ten people you are blessed in life…kindly send me one to forward…life is really hard this January. I need to be blessed

A doctor wanted to heal (3) crazy men
He asks
Bobby: 3 + 3, He answers: 2500 You’re really crazy, he told him!
Then Farouk: 3 + 3 = Wednesday. You are not far from death, said the Doctor!
Then Angel: 3 + 3 = 6. BRAVOO!!! How did you do it??? He answers: I divided 2500 by Wednesday.
The doctor fainted.