I learned that girls are impressed by material things in 2001,
when I heard Noxolo singing
“Iskipa s’ka Jonny esbhale u7 siyang’chaza”
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Sleeping next to your new Bae for the first time is tough…
you have to breathe in English ..
.not too loud, not too deep and not too fast..
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The best friends in life may not be always there
when you want them but are always there
when you need them.
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Sometimes life just seems like chapters. Some good, some bad,
but all come together to create the story of our lives.
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Job interview for a security guard
Interviewer: “Can u speak English”
Job seeker: “Will the thieves be from England
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Being a first born is not easy….
Automatically u become a deputy parent
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Guys I don’t like to argue😕
I dumped her because she said they say: “All rights in court”😐 and i told her they say: “All rice in court”…She disagreed with me😑…so i can’t continue with a fool
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Convo between Rich and His Girlfriend
Girl: “Hi”😶
Rich: “hi babe”😊☺☺
Girl: “Babe I’m worried”😯
Girl: “I’ve missed my period”😨😨😨
Girl: “I think I’m pregnant”🙆
Girl: “are u there?”😦
Girl: “Babe u not answering my calls”😡
Girl: “Rich!!!”
Girl: “stop ignoring me, speak!!!”😭😭😭
[2 minutes later]
Rich: “The owner of this phone is dead just died in an accident, This Mr Lantjie”😡
Girl: “Don’t go there at all, this is your handwriting”😠
Rich: “No its not me, I’m really dead”
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Parents Please take your children to Sunday School😒
A teacher came to class and asked a question😕
Teacher: “who killed Goliath”😐
Bill: “Its not me”😐
Steve: “I don’t know”😯
Rich: “I wasn’t at school that day”😩
The teacher went to the Headmaster’s office and told the Headmaster that students in his class don’t know who killed Goliath😟
The HM came to that class and asked…
HM: “who killed Goliath”😕
Class: “We are not the ones”😐
HM: “If u don’t tell me who killed Goliath…you’ll see fire today”😡
Class: “we don’t know”😨
The Headmaster turned to the teacher and asked: “Are you sure Goliath was killed by someone from this class??”😞
[The teacher fainted]
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After a terrible accident Bill was crying😭😭😭
Bill: “Oh God i have lost my letf hand”😨😨😨
Rich: “Control yourself my friend! Stop crying!😕 see that man laying over there, he has lost his head😒, is he crying?”
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Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?
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Me at school-I will finish this at home
Me at home-I will finish this at school
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BF VS TATAY..
MAGKAUSAP SI BF AT GF.
BF: BHE, ANTAGAL NA NATEN. PERO NI KISS WALA MAN LANG!
PA SCORE NAMAN OH?
SIGE NA..
GF: OH SIGE BHE.
MAMAYA PUNTA KA SA GILID NG BAHAY NAMIN GAGAWA AKO NG BUTAS YUNG KASYA LANG LIPS NATIN. DUN TAYO MAGKISS OKEY? BF: SIGE BHE. TXT2 NA LANG TAYO.
DI NILA NAPANSING NAKIKINIG PLA ANG TATAY NI GF.
KINUHA NYA CP NITO AT PINATULOG ITO SA KABILANG KWARTO SA NANAY NYA.. FASTFORWARD.
NAGTXT NA SI BF.
PUMWESTO NA SI TATAY.
BF: BHE, ANDITO NA KO.
ILAWIT MO NA MALA ROSAS MONG LABI.
GUMANA KALOKOHAN NI TATAY..
INILAWIT NYA ANG BUTAS NG PWET NYA.
PINIGILAN ANG TAWA.
BF: (TSUP) BHE, BAKIT PARANG LUMIIT LIPS MO? NAG ISIP NG ALIBI SI TATAY HABANG PIGIL NA PIGIL ANG TAWA..
TATAY: (NAGBOSES BABAE) E KASI BHE SHY AKO SAYO EH..
BF: AH GANUN BA BHE?
SIGE BHE ISA PA..
NILAWIT ULIT NI TATAY BUTAS NG PWET NYA.
KINISS ULIT NI BF AT KILITING KILITI SI TATAY PERO TODO PIGIL SYA..
BF: BHE MAY MALI TLAGA SA LIPS MO E.
WAG KA OOFFEND AH?
MEJO MAY AMOY E..
NAG ISIP ULIT SI TATAY:
TATAY: E KASI BHE KUMAIN AKO DI AKO NAGTOOTHBRUSH..
BF: AH! KAYA PALA.
LAST NA BHE.
PAKISS PA.
INULIT NI TATAY ANG PAGLAWIT SA PWET AT PAGHAWAK NG YAGBOLS PARA DI SUMABIT. KILITING KILITI SYA.
PERO LALO SYANG NAKILITI NG BIGLANG DINILAAN NI BF ANG PWET NYA.
KAYA DI NYA NAPIGILAN AY NAPAUTOT SYA.
YUNG UTOT NA MAY KASAMANG MALIIT NA TACHS TACHS..
BF: PWE! PUCHA BHE MAY TINGA KPA.
AYOKO NA TLAGA! 😢
HAHAHAHA lokong tatay.
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after she caught me cheating
Me : so you gonna believe your eyes over me???
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if you’re a dude & u go through your girl’s phone
while she not around, congratulations.
You’re a girl in a lesbian relationship.
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Last Night I Told My Cousin About The Guy Who Was Raped By 2 Sexy Girls At The Conner Down There
Since He Left My Place He Is Still Walking Around That Conner
Should i Tell Him I Was Lying Guyz
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