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HE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
•Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
-Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful
with fertile deltas.

•Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
-Well developed and open to trade, especially for
someone with cash.

•Between 31 and 35, she is
like India.
-Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own
beauty.

•Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
-Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place
to visit.

•Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
-Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive
reconstruction is now necessary.

•Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.
-Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The
frigid climate keeps people away.

•Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
-A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no
future.

•After 70, women become like Zimbabwe.
-Everyone knows where it is but no one wants to
go there.

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Quote of the day*

*Taxi driver* : ngicela sibhadaleni ngama seat
*Passenger* : bese sihlala phezukwani?

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“Cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and increases mileage.”*

Please send this to your wife and let me know which hospital to come & visit you !

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Divorce is for rich people.
Imagine going to court
libanga amazenge omkhukhu leZkaftin ze
ice creamHayibo stick together once*

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VIDEOKE BAR.
IFUGAO: Miss, tignan mo nga yung number ng UWANG
WAITRESS: wala namang UWANG d2 eh…
sir pede bang kantahin nyo na lang?
IFUGAO: Uwang galing, galing kong
sumayaw, galing kong gumalaw…

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Di porket sinabihan kang PAKBOY
eh cool ka na kaagad di ba pwedeng
MUKHANG RAPIST ka lang!

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Ever noticed?
Umuntu wesilisa ma egqoke ama pyjama ungathi luhlanya ulufohle esibhedlela.
Thats why ngingawathengi mina.

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Zahara: loliwe loliwe why did you lie
Black: loliwe loliwe wai dudula
I can’t believe people have been singing a lie for 6 years

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Kanti akelitsho uDP lo elikhuluma ngaye utshoni
when referring to Profile Picture,
is it Drofile Picture?

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Follow instructions carefully to crack
the code.
[1] Chali has got a secret that he wants to
tell you, scroll down to number 5
[2] The answer is on number 11
[3] Don’t be angry, look at 15
[4] Calm down don’t be mad look at 13
[5] Kikiki 1st look at number 2
[6] Don’t be that angry look at 12
[7] Just trying to wish u all a FRUITFUL
WEEK!,hope u already having a grt monday!
love y’all bangane and fans…
[8] What I wanted to tell you is… THE
ANSWER IS ON 14
[9] Be patient look at 4
[10] This is the last time I’m going to do
this look at 7
[11] I hope you’re not mad when I say
this look at 6
[12] Sorry look at 8
[13] Don’t get mad look at 10
[14] I don’t know how to say this but
look at 3
[15] You must be really mad at me now
but look at number 9

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To solve the human equation, we
need to add love, subtract hate,
multiply good, and divide
between truth and error.
The day after tomorrow is the
third day of the rest of your life.

today is the tommorow u were day-dreaming about,
so, what have u done about it?

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This policeman vowed that he
must extract at least 50bob from
this driver. After checking all his
particulars and saw that the man
had everything OK. The
policeman looked at the car boot
and saw a he goat that the man
bought for Xmas. “What about
that goat” the policeman asked.
the driver submitted the purchase
receipt. When the policeman
knew not what to ask for again,
he kept quiet for about 10
seconds, then asked, “what of the
birth certificate of the goat”

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EFFECTS OF BEING A BACK
BENCHER IN CLASS
A little boy was doing his maths
homework He said to himself,
“Two plus five, the son of a b!tch
is seven. Three plus six, the son of
a b!tch is nine…” His mother
heard what he was saying and
gasped, “What are you doing?”
The ittle boy answered, “I’m
doing my maths homework,
Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher
taught you to do it?” the mother
asked”Yes,” he answered
Infuriated, the mother asked the
teacher the next day,
“What are you teaching my son in
maths?” The teacher replied,
“Right now,we are learning
addition.” The mother asked,
“And are you teaching them to
say two plus two, the Son Of a b!
tch is four?” After the teacher
stopped laughing, she answered
“What I taught them was, two
plus two THE SUM OF WHICH, is
four.”

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An old man saw a scorpion
drowning and decided to pull it
out from the water. He calmly
puts
his hand to reach the creature,
when he did, the scorpion stung
him…
With the effect of the pain, the
old
man let go the creature and it fell
back into the water. The old man
realising that the scorpion was
drowning again, got back and
tried to rescue it but then again it
stung him. He let go it again…..
A young boy standing by
approached the old man and
said;
“Excuse me sir, you are going to
hurt
yourself trying to save the evil,
vicious creature, why do you
insist?
Don’t you realise that each time
you try
to help the scorpion it stings you?
The Man replied;
“The nature of the
scorpion is to sting and mine is to
help”. It will not change in
helping the scorpion.
So the man thought for a while
and used a leaf from a nearby
tree and pulled the scorpion out
from
the water and saved it’s life…
Then turning to the young boy,
he
said…
“Do not change your nature. If
someone hurts you, just take
precautions;
Some pursue happiness while
others create it…
Let your conscience be your guide
in
whatever you do…
When life presents you with a
hundred reasons to cry, show it
that you have a thousand and
more
reasons to smile….
More importantly, always be the
reason for that precious
SMILE!

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I have NEVER heard Pastors preaching about
the Maps behind the Bible.
I think they are hiding directions to HEAVEN from us

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LABO SISI ABADLA INHLABATHI IBONA ABAZALA O
BRICKLAYER NO DAKA BOY

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