Angry wife: “I should have married the devil,he would make a better husband than you.”
Hubby:”they would have arrested you!!marriage between relatives is illegal in this country. “😂😂😂😂 DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME

A senior citizen drove his brand new Mercedes to 120km/hr, looking in his rear view mirror , he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, … then 170, … Suddenly he thought, “I’m too old for this nonsense…!” So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him . The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a good reason that I’ve never heard before for why you were speeding. I’ll let U go.”
The man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- “Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back.” !!! 😵😁😖😂
The Cop left saying, ” Have a good day, Sir

A black child is not scared of going back to school…
.
He is afraid of bathing everyday

Gone are those days when women cry over breakup ….
Nowadays once u leave they will be like “Neeeeeext

Treat your Bae right and God will bless you
with another one, can i get some
AMEN

Stop bragging about your curves ladies
MOTOROLA 113 had curves too,
but where is it now

Welcome to Swaziland where parents remove their glasses
just to hear what u saying

U call me with a private number and you expect me to speak first?..
We will do the breathing competition until your airtime is finished

So, I decided to visit my friend in the
surbubs:
Question: “What would you like to drink …
fruit juice, soda, tea, milo, chocolate, or
coffee?”
Answer: “Tea please”
Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea,
honey bush tea, ice tea or green tea?”
Answer: ” Ceylon tea please”
Question: “How would you like it? Black or
white?”
Answer: “White please”
Question: “Milk, whitener, or condensed
milk?”
Answer: “Milk please”
Question: “Goat milk, camel milk or cow
milk?”
Answer: “Cow milk please.”
Question: “Milk from Freeze land or
Afrikaner cow?”
Answer : ” Afrikaner cow please.”
Question: ” Warm or cold?”
Answer: “Warm please.”
Question: “Full cream, low fat or fat free?”
Answer: “Umm … I’ll rather take it black
please.”
Question: “Would you like it with sweetener,
sugar or honey?”
Answer: “With sugar please.”
Question: “Beet sugar or cane sugar?”
Answer: “Cane sugar please.”
Question: “White, brown or yellow sugar?”
Answer: “Just forget about the tea. I’ll have a
glass of water instead please.”
Question: “Mineral or still water?”
Answer: “Mineral water please.”
Question: “Flavoured or non-flavoured?”
Answer: “Hey f**k man! Just get me water
from the river… I don’t want to know which
river, and stop asking me too many
questions.

Don’t tell me your secrets
cause when I get to
bae’s place I’ll start
saying everything.

When u try to apologize to your 2001 girlfriend
Babe I’m so sorry
Her:mxm Buzz off ….dont talk to me talk to my lawyer

I was in a taxi sitting next to a beautiful lady…I decided to ask for her digits
“`
She took out her phone from her bag,
switched it off infront of me and said:
“Sorry my battery is dead”
“`
☆☆☆Even now im still fainting☆☆☆

In A bus Today
`
`
Conductor: Nice dress
☆
Lady: Thanks!
☆
Conductor: Nice earrings
☆
Lady: Thanks
☆
Conductor: Nice Lipstick
☆
Lady: wooow thanks
☆
Conductor: But still you are not looking beautiful