Dad: Who do you like more ,Mum o Dad?
Son:Both

Dad:Ok if i go to America and your mum goes to Paris ,where will you go.
Son: Paris.
Dad: Dat means you like your mum more? Son:No ,that means i like Paris Dad: Ok if i go to Paris and your mum goes to America ,where will you go?
Son: America.
Dad: (Angry) Why! ?
Son: ‘cos l’ve been to Paris before. Dad: (angry) when did you go to Paris ? Son : in the first question you asked.

One word for the boy?

A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

Name: WIFE
Symbol: Bv

Atomic Weight: Light when first found… tends to get heavier over the years with time.

Physical Properties :
– Boils at any time
– Can freeze at any time
– Melts if treated with love & care
– Very Bitter if Mishandled

Chemical Properties :
– Very Reactive
– Highly Unstable
– Possess Strong Affinity towards Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards, Debit cards & Cheque books
– Money Reducing Agent

Occurrence :
– Mostly found in front of the Mirror.

Please circulate to all scientists & non-scientists.

Dating a slender is big problem,
Yesterday we had an argument that she ended up
sleeping on Ironing board*

*A man can stay with an unemployed wife for twenty years and still be happy.*
*But if a woman works for five days the whole community will know about the unemployed husband.*

A Zimbabwean policeman stops at a ranch in rural Mvurwi and talks with an old farmer.

He tells the farmer, ‘I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.’ The old farmer says, ‘Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.’ The policeman verbally explodes saying,
‘Mister, I have the authority of the State with me.’ Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his ID. The policeman proudly displays it to the farmer. ‘See this ID? This ID means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’

The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the police running for his life and close behind is the farmer’s bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The police is clearly terrified. The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..

“Your ID! SHOW HIM YOUR ID!”

A horny guy when proposing to an ugly chick be like:
“I hate to say this but I love you..!”

I am not perfect but at least i don’t call pastors and their wives mommy and daddy..!

A man’s ears are SELECTIVE:
.
Example:
When a woman says:
This house is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this,
Your stuff are all on the floor,
You will be without clothes If u don’t wash them NOW.
The man’s ears only understands:
bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, NOW