Hi – Im the girl of your dreams.
Someone said you were looking for me.
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Just because that lipstick is expensive it doesn’t mean it’s looks good on your lips,
some lips just need vaseline
and that Green Zam-buk
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A boy Known as “TC” went to the police station 🚔🚓🚨 to report his stolen bicycle🚲.
TC : My bicycle🚲 is lost
Police : When did you notice it?
TC : This morning
Police : so do you suspect anyone?
TC : Yes,mom and dad
Police : Why you say that?
TC : Because last night i just heard my mom saying “make it stand well so that i can seat on it very well,then i i heard my dad saying “climb faster before it falls an mom said “push it very slowly an please don’t hurt me.
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ਜਦੋਂ ਜ਼ਿੰਦਗੀ ਵਿਚ ਹਨੇਰਾ ਹੋਵੇ ਤਾਂ ਸਮਝ ਲਓ ਕੇ ਰਾਤ ਆ ਹੁਣ ਹਰ ਗੱਲ ਚ ਗਿਆਨ ਕਿਥੋਂ ਲੈ ਕੇ ਆਵਾਂ ?
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am the only one
is deeply in love but still single
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If ii cut off ur left arm,
ur right arm will be left
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KINDS OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK:
1. THE UNHEALTHY: They always have
stomach ache, headache, back ache etc.
Facebook is not a clinic.
2. THE LIARS: Lie about their age, marital
status and use ridiculous names like Baby,
Awesome ,Angel, Dude, Miss pee, boo ,
Man, blah blah!!
3. THE WITCHES: They always like updating
about death, bad news and sickness.
4. THE TRAVELERS: Today in America,
tomorrow heading to Italy or South Africa,
next All over The country! Are you a
minister for tourism?
5. WEATHER FORECASTERS: They update
mostly when it is raining, cold or hot e.g
‘I’m freezing’ etc
6. PREACHERS: This are mostly single men/
ladies who are looking for a spouse. They
act holy and write Bible verses only on
Sundays and Fridays or on festival day.
7. THE CONFUSED: They are married today,
engaged tomorrow, next day in an open
relationship, in a complicated relationship,
single or divorced.
8. THE FIGHTERS: All they do is to seek
trouble on people’s post, they comment
awkwardly in order to start a fight.
9. THE (I Too Know): They will always
complain that u’re always online, they will
say; are you jobless? Sometimes u can’t sop
wondering what they are doing online
themselves. Seriously, man get a life and
stop face booking.
10. THE DESPERATE. They are always
posting pictures of them in different cars
claiming car owners and always updating
themselves in different hotels and
eateries…damn…are they car dealer or
Hotel room attendant?
11. THE PEACE MAKERS: These people are
very friendly and they appreciate peoples
effort, they say thank you if they read your
post and smile.
Note: These people are usually very rare to
find.
12. AND FINALLY THE HATERS: They will
never like or comment on your posts except when they have something negative to say about you or your posts. Or u put up an update which says you are “sad, heartbroken or in Pain”.
I mean they wont even Like this post..
e.g that’s a stolen post WTF, did i say i own it?
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Your only true parent is your mother,
i have seen fathers neglect their kids
like they fell from the sky,
Give a like to your mom, dead or alive.
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No wife👰 of mine will change
nappies alone, if you will be busy,
baby girl I will stay home and change
our baby’s
🍼 nappies . No wife 👰 of mine will
cook alone, you have to work late?
Baby girl, I will cook for you🍗 . No
wife 👰of mine will make her
breakfast alone, baby girl you are
unwell I will bring you breakfast 🍮
in bed. My wife 👰 won’t be
disrespected by my family 👪 or
friends , baby girl , I will defend 🔪
you. No wife 👰 of mine will sleep
angry! My Queen will be treated as a
Queen
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My Plan is to Love Her So Good To A Point
Where she Struggles To Remember
Any Nigga Who Once Been In Her Life Before Me.
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THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM
A guy met one of his school mates several years after school
and he could not believe his eyes; his friend was driving one
of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He went home
feeling awful and very disappointed in himself. He thought he
was a failure.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
What he didn’t know was that his friend was a driver and had
been sent on an errand with his boss’s car!
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
Rosemary nagged her husband always for not being
romantic. She accused him of not getting down to open the
car door for her as her friend Jane’s husband did when he
dropped her off at work.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
What Rosemary didn’t know was that Jane’s husband’s car
had a faulty door that could only be opened from the outside!
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
Sampson’s wife went to visit one of her long time friends and
was very troubled for seeing the 3 lovely children of her
friend playing around. Her problem was that she had only one
child and have been struggling to conceive for the past five
years.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
What she didn’t know was that one of those children who
was the biological child of her friend had sickle cell and had
just a year to live; the other two are adopted!
🌽Life does not have a universal measuring tool; so create
yours and use it.
🌽Looking at people and comparing yourself with them will
not make you better but bitter.
🌽If you knew the sort of load the camel carries, you
wouldn’t ask why it takes those gentle strides.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
So be thankful to God for what you have and enjoy it. You
never know, someone may earnestly be praying for what you
don’t appreciate but take for granted.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽
GOD BLESS US WITH MUCH MORE AS WE APPRECIATE
WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE
I love you all family.
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May isang bus… At sa paghinto ng bus nagsibabaan na ang mga pasahero. Syempre nakatingin yung driver sa Rare Mirror.. May nakita syang isang babaeng naiwan… Bigla syang napapreno ng malakas… Pagtingin nya ulit sa salamin nawala yung babae.. Nagpatuloy sya sa pag-andar.. Pag tingin nya ulit sa salamin nandun naman yung babae at nakatingin ito sa kanya… Natatakot na yung driver. Kaya napapreno ulit ito… Muli syang tumingin at nawala ito…. Bago sya magpatuloy sa pag mamaneho. Nanalangin sya ng taimtim at pinasalangit ang kanyang kaligtasan…. Habang nagmamaneho… Napatingin sya ulit sa salamin.. At nakita nyang nandun nanaman ang babae…. Napapreno ulit sya ng malakas.. Nanginginig at takot na takot na sya….. Maya maya. May humawak sa kanya…. Puro pasa ang mukha ng kanyang nakita at sinabi sa kanyang…..
Babae: Manong para napo.. Baba na ako.. Kanina pa kasi ako nasusubsob kakapreno nyo ng malakas masakit na ulo ko..
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Success is not the key to happiness.
Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing,
you will be successful.
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A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Calvin says, “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, have an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of Calvin, decides not to give importance to what he has said and then continues the lesson.
“And you, Amanda?” the teacher asks.
Amanda says, “I wanna be Calvin’s Bitch”
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Calvin : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not
Calvin : Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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Anyone dating my future wife should please take it easy on her 2day… even if she says, “Hit me Harder!” and “Faster!” Or “Tear it!”, Please don’t mind her!
…I’m begging you in the name of God, she doesn’t know what she’s saying ..
Please!
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