सुहागरात को आप अगर जंग लड़ रहे हों..
और..
ख़ून खराबा ना हो तो
समझ लेना के..
मुल्क पहले ही आज़ाद हो चुका है
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*पत्नी नए ख़रीदे गये कुत्ते को आदेश देने पर उठना और बैठना सिखाने की कोशिश कर रही थी कुछ प्रयास करने के बाद भी सफल नहीं हुई।*
पति : *रहने दो तुमसे नहीं हो पायेगा।*
पत्नी : *हो जायेगा। शुरू में तुम्हारे साथ भी तो दिक़्क़त आई थी।*
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You are dating a DJ
And you expect him not
To cheat,?
Someone that mix three songs
At the same time?
U need prayers my sister
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Women who fall in love with rich married men or only date men who drive nice cars must never criticize prostitutes; they are in the same profession. The only difference is that they work in the private sector while prostitutes are in the public sector!
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Man was updating his FB status when he received a kol 4m da police: “Sir, yo wife has died in a car crash, we need u to come and identify the body”. Man: “Im very busy ryt now, can you take a picture of her, tag me. If its her i will press LIKE”
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Abantu bayathanda ukubuza ibhasi libhaliwe
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1. Akubuze ukuthi uyapheka yini abe ekubona ubonda imbiza,
wothi cha ngishintsha umntwana inabukeni.
2. Nificana ka Edgars akubuze ukuthi ubuzokwenzani,
wothi ubuzobheka amathayi emoto uzwe kuthiwa kune discount.
3. Afone phakathi nobusuku akubuze ukuthi ulele yini ,
othi no no no nginisela ingadi.
4. Akubuze ukuthi ugqokeni ebusuku,
wothi iRain coat.
5. Itax ibiza uR8 wena ukhiphe uR10 akubuze ukuthi nibangaki ,
wothi iback seat yonke.
6. Akufice etown kade ninaye erank akubuze ukuthi kanti nawe ubuza la, wothi cha empeleni ngiya ezulwini angazi ngfunani lana.
7. Ukufica eclubbini kodwa uzokbuza ukuthi uyaphila yini
wothi chaa ngibalekile emotshari ngiyabuyela
8. Ufake ijacket akubuze ukuthi uyagodola yini
wothi cha ngenzela ukundiza kahle.
9. Usemsebenzini akubuze ukuthi uyasebenza yini
wothi cha ngisheva intshebe
10. Uyadla akubuze ukuthi ulambile yini
w othi cha uyapakisha nje just incase.
11. Akufice eKFC udla akubuze uzodla inyama nawe la?
Wothi cha ngzogunda utshani.
12. Ufake ijoyini yesonto akubuze ukuthi kanti nawe uyasonta
wothi cha sigqoka kanje masiyogida iskokotsha
13. Ufake i uniform akubuze ukuthi kanti nawe uyafunda,
wothi cha ngiwuthisha
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Boyze:Baba yini ikaka yenkomo ?
Baba: yibulongwe fanami.
Boyze: Baba yini eyenkukhu?
Baba: Yibudoriro mntanami !
Boyze: eyembuzi yona?
Baba: Zingqathayi fana wami.
Boyze: Ngubani uMongameli waseCongo ?
Baba: Yho hayi angimazi .
Boyze: Owase Germany yena ngubani?
Baba: Naye angimazi ngitsho nix nix .
Boyze: Kanti Baba ngabe kukhona okunye okwaziyo ngaphandle kothuvi ,ngoba ngathi uqhaphele ukunya nje kuphela
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How Can I Transfer Money that is in my mind to my bank account
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Jack’s marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage. “Well,” his friend says, “you can always have an affair.” “I can’t do that! I will always be faithful to her.” the troubled man replies. “If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won’t be cheating.” The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement. “Honey,” his wife says, “that won’t help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it.”
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relationships nowadays
Boy : Baby are you coming at my place tonight or ngifonele uLinhle ?
Girl : call her baby , ngizolala kuSizwe uholile izolo
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एक लड़का बहुत कमज़ोर था!🙄😖
जिस्मानी तौर पर बिलकुल हड्डियों का ढांचा।😓☠
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वो बाज़ार से गुज़र रहा था 🚶🏻
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तो एक बहुत ही अमीर और ख़ूबसूरत लड़की 👸🏻.
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उसके पास अपनी क़ीमती कार में आकर रुकी 🚗
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और उस को अपने साथ अपने घर चलने की पेशकश की।😟
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बेचारा हैरान भी था 😲और ख़ुश भी के 😋
इतनी अमीर, इतनी ख़ूबसूरत है।..
काश के इससे मेरी शादी हो जाये तो मैं भी अमीर हो जाऊँ और ख़ूब ऐश करूँ।🤔
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वो राज़ी हो गया और लड़की के साथ उसके घर चला गया।😎
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उसका बंगला बहुत आलीशान था😍🏯।
बहुत सारे नौकर-चाकर भी थे।😷
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लड़की ने उसे ले जा कर ड्राइंग रूम में बिठा दिया और इंतज़ार करने को कहा। 🙂
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उस लड़के के तो दिल में लड्डू फ़ूट रहे थे।😍😍❤
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कुछ देर के बाद वो लड़की अपने दो बच्चों के साथ आई और उनसे कहा…
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“देखो बच्चों, अगर बॉर्नवीटा नहीं पिओगे तो ऐसे ही हो जाओगे!”
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That moment
You have visited your Rich relatives and they serve you 2 slices of bread,1 fried egg and a cup of coffee…. “Boom”…the child come and asks you :”Uncle, so are you going to finish all these?”. You end up saying “No,I won’t”… But deep down your heart,you say ” Voetsek, I finish a Loaf alone,what is this?”
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Shout Out To Every Nigga Buying their Girlfriends iPhones & Samsung s8 on their Birthdays So They Can send us High Quality Nudes… We appreciate u
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A female class teacher was
having a problem
with a boy in her class in Grade
3. The boy
said, “Madam, I should be in
Grade 4. I am
smarter than my sister and she’s
in Grade
4”. The Madam had heard
enough and took
the boy to the principal. The
principal
decided to test the boy with
some questions
from Grade 4.
PRINCIPAL: What is 3+3?
BOY: 6.
PRINCIPAL: 6+6.
BOY: 12.
The boy got all the questions
right. The
principal told the Madam to send
the boy to
Grade 4 immediately. The Madam
decided to
ask her own questions and the
principal
agreed.
MADAM: What does a cow have 4
of that I
have only 2?
BOY: Legs.
MADAM: What is in your trousers
that I don’t
have?
BOY: Pockets.
MADAM: What starts wit a C and
ends with T,
is hairy, oval, delicious and
contains thin,
whitish liquid?
BOY: Coconut.
MADAM: What goes in hard and
then comes
out soft and sticky?
*The principal’s eyes opened
really wide, but
before he could stop the answer,
the boy was taking charge*
BOY: Bubble gum.
MADAM: You stick your pole
inside me. You
tie me down to get me up, I get
wet before
you do.
BOY: Tent.
*The principal was looking
restless*
MADAM: A finger goes in me. You
fiddle with
me when you are bored. The
best man
always has me first?.
BOY: Wedding ring.
MADAM: I come in many sizes.
When I’m not
well, I Drip. When you blow me,
you feel
good?
BOY: Nose.
MADAM: I have a stiff shaft. My tip
penetrates, I come with a quiver.
BOY: Arrow.
PRINCIPAL: OMG.
MADAM: What starts with ‘F’ and
ends wit a
‘K’ and if you don’t get it, you
have to use
your hand?
BOY: Fork.
MADAM: What is it that all men
have, it’s
longer in some men than others,
the Pope
doesn’t use it and a man gives it
to his wife
after marriage?
BOY: Surname.
PRINCIPAL: Ohooo jeeees..!!!!!
MADAM: What part of the man
has no bone
but has muscles with a lot of
veins like
pumpkin and is responsible for
making
love?
BOY: Heart.
PRINCIPAL: Holy shi………..Eeeeeh!!..
The principal took a calm breath and
said to the Madam,
“Send this ”BLOODY BOY” to the
university…
Even I myself got all the questions wrong
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Just saw my Ex liking a
traditional healer’s page that
brings back lost lovers in
24Hours. Please pray for me
guys – I can’t go back
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It’s painful being a side chick
Side chick : Hi baby
Guy : Sho chief zkhiphani ?
Side chick : just called to say I
love you .
Guy : Sho commander nawe
uyazi sisonke
Side chick : ok Good night baby
Guy : Viva comrade
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