Do you remember when you & your ex said
you’re going to love each other forever?

*IDIOTS*

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference btwn the two words “COMPLETE” and “FINISHED”. Some people say there is no difference between ​”COMPLETE” and “FINISHED​”, but there is. When ​you marry​ the right woman you are ​COMPLETE​ and when you ​marry​ the ​wrong woman,​ you are ​FINISHED!​ When your wife ​catches​ you with ​another woman​ you are ​COMPLETELY FINISHED​ and when your ​wife​ likes ​shopping​ so much you are ​FINISHED COMPLETELY!​
Knowledge will kill me

A teacher’s letter to a parent:

“Dear Parent, Jabu your son, doesn’t smell nice in school. Kindly encourage him to take his bath.”

Parent replies:
“Dear Teacher, Jabu is not a rose flower. Don’t smell him, just teach him! Thank you.”

HE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
•Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
-Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful
with fertile deltas.

•Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
-Well developed and open to trade, especially for
someone with cash.

•Between 31 and 35, she is
like India.
-Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own
beauty.

•Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
-Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place
to visit.

•Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
-Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive
reconstruction is now necessary.

•Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.
-Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The
frigid climate keeps people away.

•Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
-A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no
future.

•After 70, women become like Zimbabwe.
-Everyone knows where it is but no one wants to
go there.

“Cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and increases mileage.”*

Please send this to your wife and let me know which hospital to come & visit you !