Into ebhedayo ngokubhala amahlaya njalo ukuthi kuyothi noma seku-serious ngiboshiwe ngibhale ngithi, “Ngicela usizo, ngiboshiwe eNewcastle police station!”

Bavele bakuphendule bathi, “Kwaaaa! Ave ugula njalo wena, uyithathaphi i-cellphone usejele?”

UMaMkhize wathosela uGumede iqanda.
–
Gumede: “Ngithanda elibhoyiliwe iqanda.”
–
MaMkhize: “Uxolo Qwabe.”
–
Ngakusasa amenzele iqanda elibhoyiliwe.
–
Gumede: “Ngithanda elithosiwe iqanda mina.”
–
MaMkhize: “Ngiyaxolisa Mnguni.”
–
Ngakusasa uMaMkhize abhoyile elilodwa, athose elilodwa bese enika umyeni wakhe.
–
Gumede: “Bekufanele uthose leli, bese ubhoyila leli.”

Ningcono nina nanibabi eskoleni, thina sisayibambile namanje. 😐

Asihambe Spoti

Nithi nisajola kamnandi emotweni yakho, kudlule amajita, athi oyedwa: “Ngizitholele noma isikorokorwana esinje kule festive.”

Shhh… Ngiyakuhlebela, ungatsheli muntu.

Kuthiwa January ama-Facebook comedians azophunyelwa izimali

“Sanibonani evrandi!” 🙋🏽‍♂️

Kusho mina ngidlula ekhaya ngoDisemba

Ungene nomuntu wakho kubo kuvele kuhlekwe
naye ahleke athi benginitshelile.

Uyakwazi ukuzitshwa isesheli esik’shela kamnandi? 😩 Lapho udane u-checker u-last seen.😌 Ufise nok’buza: “Angishelwa yini namhlanje?”

Uswenke kufike abangani bakho bathi: “Weeeh! Awukagqoki? Siyakushiya-ke!”

Ufunani kumuntu wami?”

Lo mbuzo muhle impela, kodwa uma uzobuzwa uNkulunkulu

INDLELA ENTSHA EPHUCUZEKILE YOKUZIPHATHA UMA UKHULUMA NE-PHONE ESIKHATHINI SAMANJE:

1. Okokuqala nje, asisekho isidingo sokuthi uyibize uthi, “cellphone”. Just call it a PHONE, sino-20 years yafika le nto eMzansi and wonke umuntu uyazi usuke ukhuluma ngani.

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2. Laphaya kwi-voice mail yakho asisekho isidingo sokuziqopha ukhulume 90 seconds wonke usitshela ukuthi senzeni, isibonelo nje: “Sawubona, ukhuluma noMdelwa. Ngibhizi njengamanje, ngicela ushiye umlayezo noma igama nesibongo nenombolo yakho yocingo ngizokufonela back, wara wara wara…”
Lalela, sesiyakwazi lokho! Shiya i-voice mail elula ezothatha 5 seconds, “Hello, uMdelwa lo. Uyazi kumele wenzeni. Bye.”

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3. On a dropped call, lona ofonile nguyena okumele afone futhi. Uma senifona nobabili kanye kanye azongena kwi-voice mail amafoni enu bese nithi i-network iyabheda kanti yinina enibhedayo. Futhi ukulinda 5 seconds after a dropped call angeke kunisize ngalutho ngoba nizofonelana kanye kanye iphinde ingene kwi-voice mail ifoni. Bottom line: ofonile nguye okumele afone futhi if a call is dropped.

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4. Uma seniphinde naxhumana futhi, asikho isidingo sokumosha u-two minutes wonke nichazelana ukuthi bekungani kungasafoneki. We get it, 20 years awumncane neze afika amafoni eMzansi. Sesiyazi, vele uhlale odabeni wena ofonile.

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5. Le ndaba ka-“No, you hang up first.” Nomunye athi, “No, you called me. You hang up first!”
Kuzomele iphele leyo nto, ngale kwalokho ningiphe le airtime enidlala ngayo ngoba mina I am budget savvy.

I’ll be back soon nezindlela ezilula zokuvalelisa ocingweni ezingachithi isikhathi.

That’s it from me, ubhuti Admin.

Ngizoza, serious-ke this time.”

Kusho lo muntu ombiza ngentombi yakho ekwenza islima okwesi-9.

Esteshini sogesi.
English: Danger
IsiZulu: Ingozi
IsiSwati: Itakubhambabula, buta Sibiya!

“Bharakwana, Bharakwana!”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Isibhedlel’esikhulu!”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Sasiza uNgidi.”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Ephuk’umlenze.”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Sasidlal’umadl’i-atchar.”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Ngaphansi kombhede.”

*clap, clap, clap*

(Qhubeka)

“Bharakwana, Bharakwana!”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Isibhedlel’esikhulu!”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Sasiza uNgidi.”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Ephuk’umlenze.”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Sasidlal’umadl’i-atchar.”

*clap, clap, clap*

“Ngaphansi kombhede.”

*clap, clap, clap*

(Qhubeka)

Abanye sebejolela nje ukukhulula i Lay-bye zabantwana babo.

Siyabuka nje.