La ekhaya banenkani, bathi i-Ultra Mel izovulwa ngoNew Year!

Kodwa amaChoice Assorted neMayonnaise yavulwa ngoKhisimusi.

WHITES: “I don’t have any kids.”

BLACKS: “Anginanja, anginakati mina!”

“Asihambe ngiyo-charger ifoni.”

Jikijiki, use-charger nami

Ungcono wena, uSathane wafika kuwe ehamba ngePolo, mina ngamsukela ku-inbox ezithulele uSathane wabantu.

Uma ngiphosta ihlaya elibhuquzisayo:

Normal people –
Slow learner –

As from 2020, emingcwabeni kuzomele kubhalwe kwi-program ‘Ozokhulumela Ababemkhuza’.

Akubona bonke abebelungile besaphila.

“It’s been business doing pleasure with you, come again.” Kwazisholo umahosha emva ‘komsebenzi’.

Jumpsuit iphuma nawo umzimba kaSdumo, or niwu-order eceleni?

“Mhla waw’shiya mina, wawuthembeni na?”

Sekubuza ikhabishi ngoJanuary.

Asisakwazi ‘nokuzimeteza’, izivakashi zigcwele wonke amakamelo.

Awani amaqhoks ube umude sisi? Uyoze ushayiswe ibhanoyi!

“Ingenile?” Ya.

“Ihleli kahle?” Ya.

“Ayikulimazi?” Ya.

“Uyay’feel(a)?” Ya.

“K’dala uyifuna ne?” Ya.

“Sure ingene kahle?” Ya.

Yoh! Abafana baseSportscene nemibuzo yabo uma ulinganisa i-tekkie.

On a date:

Yena: “So, tell me about yourself.”

Mina: “Oh, mina sisi ngilifaka lonke.”

Ukhaphe umngani eya kwintombi yakhe, bavele baxabane, uzwe intonjana yakhona seyithi: “Hamba nalo mngani wakho onekhanda elikhulu!”

Hhayi bo wenja! Ngingenaphi mina manje?

NGEKE UBE NESIBINDI NJENGOMUNTU EDAKIWE.

UBheki ufika udakiwe kubo, kune-family meeting. Baphelele bonke.

GOGO: ” Hawu lo mntwana! Ufika udakiwe futhi?”
BHEKI: “Thula wena salukazi ndini! Le nto engakwazi ukufaka i-airtime efonini.”
–
BABA: “Hawu! Ukhuluma nomama kanjalo?”
BHEKI: “Awukahle-ke wena, umithise umfazi wabantu.”
–
BAB’OMNCANE: “Hhayi bo! Wemfana khuzeka!”
BHEKI: “Uthini-ke wena owondla ingane okungeyona eyakho?”
–
MAMA: “Bheki mfana wami…”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke nje, ngizomtshela ubaba ukuthi kade ukuphi izolo.”
–
MFOWABO: “Hawu bafo, kahle…”
BHEKI: “Hhayi! Awume kancane wena, lent’edlisiwe.”
–
SISI WAKHE: “Hhayi Bheki! Kwanele manje!”
BHEKI: “Wena usuyamazi ubaba wale ngane oyikhulelwe?”
–
MALUME: “Hhayi mshana!”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke konje wafa kanjani umalumekazi njengoba usucebile?”
–
ANTI: “Hawu bakithi”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke nje ngizosho ukuthi ngakubamba wenzani nobaba walaphaya ngaphesheya kwaZwane.”
–
MKAKHE: “Awu, kodwa babakhe!”
BHEKI: “Thula wena, abakufuni la ekhaya, bathi udla imali yami!”

Ningashuthi-ke ukudla namhlanje please, ngiyanazi phela nina uma senibona i-mayonnaise.