La ekhaya banenkani, bathi i-Ultra Mel izovulwa ngoNew Year! 😕😢

Kodwa amaChoice Assorted neMayonnaise yavulwa ngoKhisimusi.

WHITES: “I don’t have any kids.”

BLACKS: “Anginanja, anginakati mina!”

“Asihambe ngiyo-charger ifoni.”

Jikijiki, use-charger nami

Ungcono wena, uSathane wafika kuwe ehamba ngePolo, mina ngamsukela ku-inbox ezithulele uSathane wabantu.

Uma ngiphosta ihlaya elibhuquzisayo:

Normal people – 😂
Slow learner – 👍🏽

As from 2020, emingcwabeni kuzomele kubhalwe kwi-program ‘Ozokhulumela Ababemkhuza’.

Akubona bonke abebelungile besaphila.

“It’s been business doing pleasure with you, come again.” Kwazisholo umahosha emva ‘komsebenzi’.

Jumpsuit iphuma nawo umzimba kaSdumo, or niwu-order eceleni? 🤔

“Mhla waw’shiya mina, wawuthembeni na?” 🤔

Sekubuza ikhabishi ngoJanuary.

Asisakwazi ‘nokuzimeteza’, izivakashi zigcwele wonke amakamelo.

Awani amaqhoks 👠 ube umude sisi? 🤔 Uyoze ushayiswe ibhanoyi! ✈️

“Ingenile?” Ya.

“Ihleli kahle?” Ya.

“Ayikulimazi?” Ya.

“Uyay’feel(a)?” Ya.

“K’dala uyifuna ne?” Ya.

“Sure ingene kahle?” Ya.

Yoh! Abafana baseSportscene nemibuzo yabo uma ulinganisa i-tekkie.

On a date:

Yena: “So, tell me about yourself.”

Mina: “Oh, mina sisi ngilifaka lonke.”

Ukhaphe umngani eya kwintombi yakhe, bavele baxabane, uzwe intonjana yakhona seyithi: “Hamba nalo mngani wakho onekhanda elikhulu!”

Hhayi bo wenja! Ngingenaphi mina manje?

NGEKE UBE NESIBINDI NJENGOMUNTU EDAKIWE.

UBheki ufika udakiwe kubo, kune-family meeting. Baphelele bonke.

GOGO: 👵🏽” Hawu lo mntwana! Ufika udakiwe futhi?”
BHEKI: 😡 “Thula wena salukazi ndini! Le nto engakwazi ukufaka i-airtime efonini.”
–
BABA: 👨🏽‍🦱 “Hawu! Ukhuluma nomama kanjalo?”
BHEKI: “Awukahle-ke wena, umithise umfazi wabantu.”
–
BAB’OMNCANE: 👨🏼‍🦱 “Hhayi bo! Wemfana khuzeka!”
BHEKI: “Uthini-ke wena owondla ingane okungeyona eyakho?”
–
MAMA: 🙆🏼‍♀️ “Bheki mfana wami…”
BHEKI: 😯 “Wena-ke nje, ngizomtshela ubaba ukuthi kade ukuphi izolo.”
–
MFOWABO: 👦🏽 “Hawu bafo, kahle…”
BHEKI: “Hhayi! Awume kancane wena, lent’edlisiwe.”
–
SISI WAKHE: 👧🏽 “Hhayi Bheki! Kwanele manje!”
BHEKI: “Wena usuyamazi ubaba wale ngane oyikhulelwe?”
–
MALUME: 👨🏾‍🦱 “Hhayi mshana!”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke konje wafa kanjani umalumekazi njengoba usucebile?” 🤔
–
ANTI:🙆🏽‍♀️ “Hawu bakithi”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke nje ngizosho ukuthi ngakubamba wenzani nobaba walaphaya ngaphesheya kwaZwane.”
–
MKAKHE: 😲 “Awu, kodwa babakhe!”
BHEKI: “Thula wena, abakufuni la ekhaya, bathi udla imali yami!” 😡

Ningashuthi-ke ukudla namhlanje please, 🤚🏽 ngiyanazi phela nina uma senibona i-mayonnaise.