Maria: Aba, aba ! Gabi ka na naman umuwi ! Ilang ulit nay an ah !
Boknoy: Pwede ba, tigilan mo ako ! Baka samain ka sakin !
Maria: Aba ! Matapang ! Sumasagot-sagot na !
Boknoy: Oo, matapang na ako ! Kung hindi ka lang lalaban kanina pa kita sinuntok eh !

Peter: Dad! There is a night swimming you can come with me?
Father: Okay, son! Just don’t have a night, huh!
Peter: all right!

Felimon: best friend, are you nagpatuli?
Boknoy: of course, I’m more. Why are you?
Felimon: it’s not yet. I’d like to have it.
Boknoy: why are you tagpos?
Felimon: Yes, look at it. Up and down, up and down.
Boknoy: yeah. Let’s go with you.
– home went home to get to pay.
Felimon:Tay, May I have 50 papatuli I am
Dad: so, I don’t have any change, my child. In your mother. “wait, are you?”
Felimon: Yes, dad. Look, up and down up and down.
– she went to his mother.
Felimon: Mom, may I have 50 papatuli.
Mom: is there in your sister, I don’t have money with it. Are you tagpos?
Felimon: Yes, mom. Look at this, up and down and down.
– she went to his sister bathing in the bathroom.
Felimon: sister sister can give 50 pampatuli only oh.
Sister: all right, just wait
– out of the sister
Sister: so why are you tagpos?
Felimon: Yes, sister. Look at it, up and down up and down
Sister: you are still losing me.
Felimon: why is it?
Sister: look at this. Close open close open.

Photographer: Hey Inday! want to have some photos?
Inday: Oh, I love photos and vevengkas and falitaws and somans and safens safens! I rili love kakanens…
Photographer: Oh! sarap mong safakens! Gusto mu bang putobogbog o libingka…

May isang demonyo na bumaba sa lupa at napunta siya sa C.R. May nakita siyang tatlong lalaki.
Demonyo: Papalabasin ko kayo dito kapag pinagsamasama ang haba ng ari niyo ay
15 Inches.
Berto: (naghubad na at 6 inches ang ari niya)
Kadyo: (naghubad na at 8 inches ang ari niya)
Boknoy: (naghubad na at 1 inch ang ari niya)
Demonyo: Nagawa niyo ang sinsabi ko makakaais na kayo dito.
-Lumabas na ang tatlong lalaki. At sa labas ay nag-usap sila.
Boknoy: Muntik na tayo dun ahhh. Buti nanigas tong sakin.

Kapapasok lang sa motel ng dalawang magkasintahan.
Sobra ang pananabik nila sa bawat isa, agad na sinandal ni bf
si gf sa pader at tsaka hinalikan. Halos maputol ang hininga
ni gf sa pagsiil ng halik ni bf. Maya maya kinakapa ni gf
ang ulo ni bf na para bang meron siyang hinahanap.
.
.
BF: oh babe, anung ginagawa mo sa ulo ko?
.
.
GF: Hinahanap ko kung may sungay ka…
.
.
BF: ha bakit??
.
.
GF: DEMONYO KA SA SARAP EH.
.
BF: naku wala pa yun babe, tikman mo ang susunod kong
gagawin…
.
Hinalikan ulit ni bf si gf, mula sa labi pababa sa leeg at sa dibdib
habang unti-unti nang inaalis ni bf ang saplot sa katawan ni gf.
Halos paliguan na ng halik ni bf ang buong katawan ni gf
at pagdako ng bibig ni bf “DOWN THERE” ay agad niyang
kinain si gf.Gumapang ang kakaibang kuryente sa katawan ni GF dahil sa kakaibang sensasyon na kanyang nararanasan. Maya maya biglang kinakapa ni bf ang ulo
ni gf na para bang mayroon siyang hinahanap.
.
.
GF: ohhh babe…anu ginagawa mo sa ulo ko, bakit mo kinakapa?
.
BF: hinahanap ko babe kung may sungay ka..
.
.
GF: wow ha…dahil demonyo ako sa sarap???
.
.
.
.
BF: HINDI BABE..AMOY KAMBING BABE…AMOY NA AMOY KAMBING.

Kapapasok lang sa motel ng dalawang magkasintahan.
Sobra ang pananabik nila sa bawat isa, agad na sinandal ni bf
si gf sa pader at tsaka hinalikan. Halos maputol ang hininga
ni gf sa pagsiil ng halik ni bf. Maya maya kinakapa ni gf
ang ulo ni bf na para bang meron siyang hinahanap.
.
.
BF: oh babe, anung ginagawa mo sa ulo ko?
.
.
GF: Hinahanap ko kung may sungay ka…
.
.
BF: ha bakit??
.
.
GF: DEMONYO KA SA SARAP EH.
.
BF: naku wala pa yun babe, tikman mo ang susunod kong
gagawin…
.
Hinalikan ulit ni bf si gf, mula sa labi pababa sa leeg at sa dibdib
habang unti-unti nang inaalis ni bf ang saplot sa katawan ni gf.
Halos paliguan na ng halik ni bf ang buong katawan ni gf
at pagdako ng bibig ni bf “DOWN THERE” ay agad niyang
kinain si gf.Gumapang ang kakaibang kuryente sa katawan ni GF dahil sa kakaibang sensasyon na kanyang nararanasan. Maya maya biglang kinakapa ni bf ang ulo
ni gf na para bang mayroon siyang hinahanap.
.
.
GF: ohhh babe…anu ginagawa mo sa ulo ko, bakit mo kinakapa?
.
BF: hinahanap ko babe kung may sungay ka..
.
.
GF: wow ha…dahil demonyo ako sa sarap???
.
.
.
.
BF: HINDI BABE..AMOY KAMBING BABE…AMOY NA AMOY KAMBING.

Shout-out to those who attacked and nangbasag my face before I go home you really waited for me 10 you just joined me kick out here Kick out there kick up to the left and right strike a tree on the knee I don’t have any evil in you you don’t have mercy, fuck you I’m just walking because you Fuck you, I will make up to you, damn you remember that you have karma too you don’t die (so you read this much thanks because you read this just joke

Shout-out to those who attacked and nangbasag my face before I go home you really waited for me 10 you just joined me kick out here Kick out there kick up to the left and right strike a tree on the knee I don’t have any evil in you you don’t have mercy, fuck you I’m just walking because you Fuck you, I will make up to you, damn you remember that you have karma too you don’t die (so you read this much thanks because you read this just joke

-Word: Kalabasa
Felimon: Pagkain?
Boknoy: Oo
Felimon: Ahm. Gulay?
Boknoy: Oo
Felimon: Nasa bahay kubo?
Boknoy: Oo!! Oo!!
Felimon: Singkamas?
Boknoy: Hindi
Felimon: Talong?
Boknoy: Hindi
Felimon: Sigarilias?
Boknoy: Hindi
Felimon: Mani?
Boknoy: Hindi
Felimon: Sitaw?
Boknoy: Hindi
Felimon: Bataw,patani?
Boknoy: Hindi.
Felimon: Kundol,patula?
Boknoy: Hindi.
Felimon: Opo?
Boknoy: Hindi
Felimon: Tangina ! PASS !

Boknoy, drunk walking on the way, and he heard a roar of evil.
Boknoy: hey monsters! Go out there!
Aswang: Shizuka! Time! Time!
Boknoy: Ah! You don’t want to go out because you’re ugly! Ugly!
– dinagit dinagit the creature and brought it into his den!
Next night. Boknoy is drunk again.
Boknoy: hey monsters! I’m here!
Monsters: I don’t want anymore!
Boknoy: Why!
Monsters: it’s huge of you! I can’t!

– in the jeep
Boknoy: Bro, are we not going to leave?
Driver: not yet.
Boknoy: we’re almost an hour here, huh!
Driver: no one else is empty!
Boknoy: so what do you think of me? Soup!

Boy : I’m likes you
Girl : HAHAHAHAHA
Boy : What are the funny?
Girl : Wrong grammar.
Boy : Am I not wrong gramming,
what do you think of me I’m not graduation !
Girl : tangina mo !

Felimon: Bess, tulungan mo naman ako.
Boknoy: Babae na naman ? Alam mo bess. Ang babae nandyan lang yan. Simplehan mo lang. Hayaan mo sila.
Felimon: Bess naman eh.
Boknoy: Bakit ? Ano ba problema mo ?
Felimon: Pakitranslate naman ng sasabihin ko.
Boknoy: Sige, whats that ?
Felimon: Panget ba ako ? Kapalit-palit ba ako ?
Boknoy: Im ugly ? Im exchange gift ?