In a black household you can’t just leave, you have to cook or clean something in exchange for your absence. 🤣🤞🏽
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If you see me drinking Gordon’s straight from the bottle – no dash, this december, please mind your own business. 💀
I know what I’m doing.
It’s been a rough year.
An old man wanted to leave all of his money to one of his three sons, but he didn’t know which one he should give it to. He gave each of them a few coins and told them to buy something that would be able to fill their living room. The first man bought straw, but there was not enough to fill the room. The second bought some sticks, but they still did not fill the room. The third man bought two things that filled the room, so he obtained his father’s fortune. What were the two things that the man bought?
I will be naming my daughter pregnant so when a guy meets her.
Guy: Hi, am Stanley
Her: Hi, am pregnant. 😂 case closed🙌🤣😋
You can’t drink wine if you don’t know English coz every sip you must say ‘ as I was saying’
Some married men will be watching Match in the bar with their side chick and still be screaming that the referee is cheating 😂 😂
Today was the day I decided to be serious about life, I took a step that many of my friends can’t take. I went for HIV Testing and I came back very HAPPY because I found the Clinic closed…
Some guys be calling their girlfriends “My Queen! My Queen!!” but when the Queen asks for 2k the kingdom scatter and the king disappears.
*As u pray for a good wife, also pray she have good friends too because those idiots are the Board Of Directors 😂😂😂😂
Ladies and their nonsense behaviours😏🤕
I said we should meet infront of a restaurant and you’re already inside reading the menu😢😢😒
Finish reading and meet me outside let’s discuss😎😎😊😂😹*
I hate indiscipline😔😔🤕
My uncle saved his girlfriend number as Low Battery…whenever his phone ring and he is not around*…. *His wife just connect it to a charger and life goes on*…..
😂😂😂
GIRL: I want to show you something.
BOY: Okay.
GIRL: Can we go inside the bedroom?
BOY: (excited) sure, we can.
GIRL: Can I switch off the light?
BOY: Go on.
GIRL: Can I close the curtains and
windows?
BOY: (very excited) Fast!
GIRL: Can I lock the door?
BOY: Wow! Yea immediately!
GIRL: I’m done, come closer.
BOY: Here I am (this will be amazing).
GIRL: I want to show you that my
watch has a light, you can use it to
check the time in darkness
If you shake your fist, the other guy will shake his too. But if you extend your hand to shake their hand, then they will extend theirs also, and you’ve made a friend.
True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.
I may not get to see you as often as I like, I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart, I truly know, you’re the one that I love and I can’t let you go.
Jerry Seinfeld
I’m left-handed. Left-handed people do not like that the word ‘left’ is so often associated with negative things: Two left feet, left-handed compliments, ‘What are we having for dinner?’ ‘Leftovers.’ You go to a party, there’s nobody there. ‘Where’d they go?’ ‘They left. 😂