My mom told dad”when u finish watering the garden we need to talk about something l saw on your phone”
.
;( it been 4 days n dad is still watering the garden

We must use English the way White people use our languages…
Is you hears me now?

*My neighbour called the police because I was smoking weed in my backyard.* *The police got here and asked where the weed was, I said I smoked it all.* *They said where did you buy it, I said from my neighbour…* *now they’re at his house*
*Learn To Mind Your Own Business!!!*

I’m sorry to say this but Girls are slowly replacing swimming pools

Girls did you know that these boys when they inbox 📥 us it took a long process? They go through our Profile pics to check if we’re approachable, to check if we’re at the same level. After that they go to inbox and type📼 “Hi” n they stop for 2mins meditating🙀 if they can post it or not, they delete❌it and log out thinking if they can come up with good approach. After some few hours⌚ they consolidate✊ themselves n say now am going to talk to her, they log in n come straight to your acc n look at your pic for 3mins thinking, they cancel it and they go to check their notifications 🔔, they leave their Facebook online n do something for 15mins, they come back n notice that you’re online they log out again coz they think they’re being watched. They log in n check their notifications 🔔again for 30sec n they come back to ur acc n notice that you’ve logged out, they boost their confidence n they type “Hello Beautiful” n they stop for 3mins, they delete it instantly❌😏 n type “Hi” finally, and they log out quickly after sending it n Spend five hours without logging in coz they’re afraid you might have ignore them. At 19:30 they go to bath 🛀 after that they go straight to their beds n login in to Facebook, they’re now happy coz there’s two messages, they ignore it for 5mins n go straight to their notifications liking, commenting posts of their friends, after some 10mins they go straight to inbox n they found that you didn’t reply, they start to blame themselves maybe it’s because am ugly this n that so on and on they faint 💂😂😁. Guys am I wrong? 😊 Ladies keep it up we have dignity n we’re so precious. 👏

My Landlord is a good man, I came back and see 2 big padlocks on my door. I know it’s because of insecurity in my area

Most guys are single because they refuse to answer this question;
“How did you get my number?”

When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.

A sick woman was lying on her sick bed with
her husband by her side,😭
She turns to the husband and said
WIFE : Honey, I have a confession to make….😢
HUSBAND : Save your strength my dear!☺😊
WIFE : [Cuts in] Nooo,😭 I want to say it so that
when I die my spirit will be at rest😣.I have been
stealing your money and giving it to my boyfriend😢,
You’re not the father of our son Junior, I was the one who stole
your gold wrist watch and hide it in your
sister’s bag so that you’ll drive her away😩..
Please forgive me😞
HUSBAND : I know all this, that’s why I poisoned you.😊
Keep calm Let the poison work…. s

Refusing to send Transport Money has made some guys👮 to lose their future wives👧. My brother, Be wise and send that money now

“No Woman Can Control Me, No Woman Can Control Me”; “No woman can tell me what to do”
~•~^~•~
But Once She Says: “Go Lock the Door First” You Fly Like A Bird..!

[Dear Ladies]
Have you ever made a guy drop you off at another guy’s place?

Respect your partner’s phone so that the days of your relationship will be increased..!

m i the only one who has a whole list of things to download, but as soon as I’m connected to WIFI i forget everything..