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I have a girlfriend who is a police officer. When she misses me, she just come to my house in uniform and arrest me in presence of my wife and take me to her home till the next day.

Then she bring me back and tell my wife “we are not done with investigations yet. I shall pick him up anytime we want more from him“

And my innocent wife will always say: ‘madam officer, God bless you for handling my husband’s case with care I will make sure he is always available anytime you need him”. Share & enjoy your day as you put smile on somebody’s face also.

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Colleagues Bill,Jim and Scott are attending a convention together and staying in a Hotel suit on the top of a 75-storey skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they’re shocked to hear the lifts in their hotel are out of order and that they have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill says to Jim and Scott ”lets break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concestrating on something intresting i’ll tell jokes for 25 storeys,Jim can sing songs for 25 and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stops telling jokes and Bill begins to sing. At 51th floor Jim stops singing and Scott begins to tell sad stories ”I’LL TELL MY SADDEST STORY FIRST” I LEFT OUR ROOM KEY AT THE RECEPTION

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I went to Genesis Hotel through Exodus road. On the
way, i saw Leviticus recording the Numbers of
people at Deuteronomy, while Joshua was waiting at
the beautiful gate for Judges to see Ruth calling
loudly “Samuel,Samuel” . At a stage, the, first and second Kings of Chronicles
were coming to visit Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther for
the misfortune of Job their
brother.
Then they noticed that Mr Psalms was teaching his
children Proverbs concerning Ecclesiastes while singing the Songs of Solomon. This coincided with the period that Isaiah and
Jeremiah were engaged in Lamentation for Ezekiel
and
Daniel their friend.
By that time, Amos and Obadiah were not around. Three days later, Hosea, Joel and Jonah traveled in
the same ship with Micah and Nahum to Jerusalem.
Habakkuk then visited Zephaniah who introduced
him to Haggai a friend of Zechariah whose cousin is
Malachi. Immediately after the old tradition,Matthew,
Mark, Luke and John got involved in Acts with the Romans who were behaving like the
Corinthians,who were always at loggerhead with the
Galatians.
At that time too, the Ephesians realizing that the
Philippians were close to the Colossians,suggested to
the Thessalonians that they should first of all see Timothy who had gone to the
house of Titus to
teach Philemon his younger brother how to read
and write in Hebrew.
On hearing this, James asked Peter to explain to him
how the three Johns have disclosed to Jude the Revelation of my journey. gudmrng

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REAL TOUCHING STORY:
(take your time to read this, its
very important)
My dad was a rich man as many of
you can’t imagine.
He was not staying with my
mother as a little girl the reason I
never knew why.
I loved my dad to much because
whenever he visited me, he came
with some gifts and gave me
money.
Though my mom discouraged
saying that My dad should not be
trusted that far, I never listened.
She told me that my dad even
doesn’t love me because if he did,
he would have taken me to a
good school as his other children.
But I remained loving my dad.
Now my life change began when
my Mum died. I was 12 yrs old,
still in my primary.
Before she died, she told me “my
daughter i’m going but know that
your trouble has began. I was the
only pillar to you on earth now
the only one remaining is God. Be
firm he will help you”
I cried and cried as I saw my only
love mum was gone.
But I had hope in my dad who
seemed caring.
After the burial I was taken to my
dad’s home. Its from there that I
faced the most suffering.
Mistreatment I could do
everything alone or with the maid.
After my primary, my dad said he
had no money to let me continue.
Thats when I understood that my
dad didn’t love me. I cried for
missing education but always
prayed to God as my mum told
me.
After 5 years at home, I decided to
get married. I was 17 and I got
the boyfriend whom I loved most.
He was 22 years guy, handsome
though not rich but i believed that
we can make it together. But as
soon as my dad discovered about
our relationship he threatened
the boy and the poor boy gave up.
I hated my dad more but i later
realised that everything was
planned by my step mom whom
people believed she be witched
my dad although i never believed
in witchcraft.
Two years later, i escaped and
went looking for my boyfriend. He
was happy to see me and as soon
as he took me home and
promised to be with me forever.
My dad looked for me but failed to
trace me untill when i was
pregnant that he met me.
After 5 yrs i was told that my dad
was seriously sick. And he sent for
me. He asked me to forgive him
and said that it was not him but
the work of satan. He gave me
part of his land and some cash. I
forgave him and realised that true
he could have been bewitched.
3 days later i heard that my dad is
gone. I cried bitterly over my dad.
But all to say was good bye dad.
I continued to live with my
husband, we soon grew rich and
it was my suprise when i saw my
step mom coming to visit me
asking for forgiveness saying that
blame everything to me.
I forgave her and i now live
happily with my husband and two
sons. But before all i always
remember my God.
MORAL LESSON.
Though we live in lives full of
troubles and dangers caused to
your by others, the Lord is always
there for us. And he will make us
succeed.
If you believe that you will always
succeed with God,
why can’t you LIKE this status and
Proudly write,”AMEN”

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My son is turning 2 years today but due to budget
we are not telling him

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Examining a female patient brutally beaten by her husband, Doctor tells her: “Your heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.”
The woman immediately starts taking off her skirt and underwear.
The doctor shocked said: “No! No! Please! Put on your clothes! Just show me your tongue!”

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Wife to her husband text*:
“Big head, you haven’t called me since morning…Are you the only one working in that office? Smh! Fine, continue…”

Side Chic text:
“Babes, you haven’t called today, I guess you’ve been busy with work. I hope you’ve had time to eat something at least. Don’t overwork yourself my love. I will call you later.
I Love you!”

Now do the mathematics yourself, it’s not juju they use in snatching your husbands , is it?

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A married woman entered a Pharmacy, she walked to the Pharmacist looked straight into his eyes and said: ‘I would like to buy FAST KILLING POISON FOR HUMANS’.
The bewildered Pharmacist asked: ‘Why, what for? The lady replied: ‘I need it to poison my husband’.
The Pharmacist shouted: ‘Lord have mercy, it’s against the law! It’s a sin.’
Absolutely not! shouted the lady. She reached into her bag and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and screamed: ‘Why didn’t you tell me you had a Prescription….

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Poor countries have the longest National anthems because they explain all their problems in it!

Donald Trump

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If you really want something, you’ll find a way.
If you don’t you’ll find an excuse.

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What saddens me about my existence,
that I did not live and yet I will die

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Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army!

Interviewer, “We want a person with a suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly, having a KILLER INSTINCT !!! So do you think you are eligible?”

Man, “No Sir, but…….. can my Wife apply..?”

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The pain that girls feel when they give birth is the same pain we (boys) feel when they say ”I can’t come out im already sleeping see u tomorrow…

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If you dont believe in yourself,
Do you think anyone else would?

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